Christmas comes but once a year, but it's always "Cocktail Time"!
Since I've been on hiatus, I didn't get to comment on Pete Wells' wonderfully awesome takedown of Rachael-Ray-on-crack-with-a-beard's Guy Fieri's new Manhattan restaurant, Guy's American Kitchen. But if you have not read it before, you have to read it. Favorite section:
Why is one of the few things on your menu that can be eaten without fear or regret — a lunch-only sandwich of chopped soy-glazed pork with coleslaw and cucumbers — called a Roasted Pork Bahn Mi, when it resembles that item about as much as you resemble Emily Dickinson?
When you have a second, Mr. Fieri, would you see what happened to the black bean and roasted squash soup we ordered?
Hey, did you try that blue drink, the one that glows like nuclear waste? The watermelon margarita? Any idea why it tastes like some combination of radiator fluid and formaldehyde? [Wells 2012]Makes me want to stand by the window to watch, and then go somewhere much better to eat. Assuming NYC is no longer underwater.
Oh what the hell? I've posted it often enough but you just can't watch this train wreck enough, can you? Imagine what she would do for Boxing Day? Get a cake, put it in a box!
For Aunt Sandy and her... waitaminute, her Hanukkah Cake! Yes, video of it is finally online!
Hat tip to the GOOD Blog via the Daily Dish (neither is a food site), another reason to heed Morgan Spurlock and Super Size Me: a McDonald's Happy Meal looks (though perhaps doesn't taste) pretty much the same after 4 1/2 months. Manitoba-born New York City artist Sally Davies found out as much and the Refinery 29 website chronicles a sample of her work.
This is a typical Happy Meal after 137 days:
My guess is the ice, at least, would have melted.
Friendly's Grilled Cheese Burger Melt. Excess. Gluttony. Ick.
(Photo from Friendly's via Slashfood)
Wegman's sells the Taylor Classic Instant Thermometer ($7.99), which has "instant" (meaning about a minute to get to the actual temperature) digital reads ranging from between -58°F to 302°F. It also comes with an extra "long-life" battery. They didn't mention that the "long-life" part was in fruit fly terms. I used it to make mozzarella. I was making some more just now and it died half way through the process (yes, I left it on for about five extra minutes, which I admit was a mistake). No problem: just change the battery! After that it would never work again. So what to do? Well, I just got back from Giant with a Farberware analog instant read thermometer for just a dollar more. At least this one needs no batteries. Something told me I should've spent that extra dollar.
A purported Burger King ad made by an ad agency in Singapore is raising people's ire here. It irritates me, too. Or maybe I've just gotten too puritanical lately (which would surprise my friends). But people wondered if it was, in fact, a joke.
The joke?
I'm not sure what icks me out more: the not-so-subtle (the understatement of the year) sexual imagery, or the fact that this thing probably has enough calories to feed a small village for two days.
This has also made me lose my appetite for the next several days. Blaaaaaaaaa... Check out the rest of this nauseating food here.
Just a few thoughts about stuff I've noticed lately, but have simply had no time to post about:
1. On a friend's recommendation, I dragged Eric & Alan to Marie Louise Bistro, in the location that was formerly Gampy's.
The place looks nice and the service is friendly. But how we felt about it was mixed. Alan and I loved our French onion soups, and Alan seemed to be satisfied with his bouillabaisse, even though the kitchen had run out of one ingredient and had to substitute extra mussels for it. I enjoyed my rockfish in lavender sauce on a bed of caramelized Israeli couscous, but for a special dish of the night, I guess I expected more. It was satisfying but it didn't "wow" me.
Eric, on the other hand, was wow'd, but in a bad way. While I don't remember his reaction to his salad, he was pretty annoyed about his steak - something he doesn't eat often. He asked for it to be nice and medium rare. It comes out very well done. Granted, the waiter offered to bring it back, but Eric didn't take him up on it. It didn't taste bad, but he was still irritated that something as simple as the rareness of the food was messed up. Long story short: for a restaurant that's been open for a few months now, it should be working these sorts of kinks out faster. Especially in an economy such as this where you don't want to give potential patrons a reason not to come back.
2. The Amish have imposed a limit of two per household?
Um, Amish women actually wouldn't be doing stuff like this. Commenter Joshua C just reminded me of the disturbing joys of fried stuffing, as he found my site while searching for a post about it. With that in mind, here's one of my favorite pics of the holiday (Thanksgiving, not Chrismukkwanzakah) season.
A shout out to Leslie for posting this. It scared me. It scared me because I know just how big and decadent and delicious and wrong an In N' Out Burger is. Remove the buns and replace them with two Krispy Kreme donuts (hot ones, please - the room temperature ones really aren't worth eating), and you've got a coronary angioplasty in the making.
The Where-Is-Your-God-Now? Burger from MAKE MOVIES on Vimeo.
Side note: I have just replaced the "YouTube" tag with the "video" tag, since so many videos are not from YouTube.
Bed, Bath and Beyond's Creme Brulée Torch Set, which I "scored" for $20, has been giving me a royal headache since I bought the damn thing. Let me count the ways:
The latest tidbit to warn us about what we're eating at the movie theatre comes to us from Men's Health (via Yahoo!). It warns about six nasty things that will put on the pounds and take years off your life at the movies. These are no-brainers, of course. A large popcorn - what's that going for these days, seven, eight dollars? - will add almost 1,300 calories to your waistline - less if you share, even less if you don't drench it in "butter". That's why I don't eat popcorn at the movies anymore. Well, that and the cost of the popcorn. Well, that, that and the cost of the movie. Okay - that, that, and the other thing, plus the cost of gas.
Best to just go to Tapas Teatro and then see whatever's playing at The Charles (if anything good is playing, that is). Just to note: the Charles and the Senator (okay, Senator and Rotunda) have the cheapest small popcorns of any movie theatre in the area, $3 at the Charles and only half a dollar more at the Senator and Rotunda.
I finally tried SoyJoy. The good news: it's not inedible like I thought it would be! The bad news: it's still not very good. It's what you eat when there really is nothing else around. Fortunately, I also bought a Luna Bar (it's not just for women anymore). I finished most of that one. I probably would have eaten the whole thing were it not for the half a SoyJoy that I ate first.
Don't try this at home...because it's NASTY. And it has nothing to do with TC4's Andrew's culinary boner (ick).
I tried this recipe for two-ingredient low-fat cake where instead of the obligatory oil, eggs and water, you just add pumpkin from the can, then bake it and voila! It sounded easy and tasty: all you do is take a regular box of cake mix, low-fat preferably, and add a 15 oz can of pumpkin purée, bake as usual and there you go!
As I read some of the comments from those who had tried this recipe, I started having, um, second thoughts about doing it so straightforwardly. A few people gave helpful suggestions for making it better, or else just make them into muffins. It has the crumbly consistency of a large, cake-shaped muffin, as poiinted out by user "Kari", who gave it three stars:
Reviewed: Apr. 9, 2008This five star review, from user "Pam W", proved more encouraging:
Good recipe, consistency a little crumbly, probably better as muffins than cake. I also added 1/2 cup water to the mixture...good overall though, will probably make again, because it is SO SIMPLE!
Reviewed on Nov. 7, 2005 by PamWOkay Pam, I forgot the cream cheese. I was just going to use the standard Domino's vanilla buttercream frosting. But I did add the two eggs and a bit of water.
After reading the reviews I also decided to add 1/4 cup of sugar, 2 eggs and some canned cream till it was a little easier to spread. It was fanastic!! I love this recipe. I decided to use a jelly roll pan and make bars, topped it with cream cheese icing, and then poured carmel topping over it, all I can say is YUMMY!! I took it to work and it was gone within 5 minutes. I was trying to reproduce a recipe from a place called the Bread Basket. This was even better than theirs, :)
Reviewed: Mar. 2, 2008So don't try this. I mean, if all you have for dessert is a box of cake mix and a 15 oz can of pumpkin (and hopefully an egg or two), it does the job. But it doesn't do it well and you'll probably hand it the pink slip.
I love pumpkin but this was disappointing...I'm always looking for a healthier version of foods we love but this just didn't cut it. Maybe it would have been better with homemade icing to add a little something special...I'm sorry.
A few mini-posts together...
From the "Once again, I know no Southerner who would eat that" files
I joke about Paula Deen a bit. I still do like her, despite all the dangerous things she has been making lately. But I am first to admit that she's becoming a parody of herself. The latest shocking thing that I saw her make was on her recent brunch episode. Most of the stuff she made looked tasty to me - garlic cheese grits (a stick of butter - fattening), a fruit parfait (seems safe, though looks can be deceiving), etc.
Then came this. Her burger (not so bad) between two halves of a two Krispy Kreme donuts (WHOA!), topped with a fried egg (my chest hurts...) and several slices of bacon (What's that sharp pain in my left arm?). She told her friend, who sang at her most recent wedding and who got the first bite (nice way to treat a friend), "We're gonna get arrested for this!" So even Paula realizes what a bad idea this is!
***Gasp!*** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Here! It'll make ya' FEEL good FEEL good FEEL good FEEL good FEEL good FEEL good*
Again - this is for a brunch. You probably won't see this on the menu at Gertrude's. Actually you don't find this on the menu at the Lady and Sons in Savannah either. Wonder why?
I can so tell that he's rare. All us rare guys can "sense" it.
"Steak-dar" - it's a gift. Insert own punchline.Because it's Kwanzaa, y'all, and because I haven't said anything about it yet! Still the cake looks and sounds awful.
There is something wrong with this woman.
*kuumba - Swahili for "creativity" - one of the seven principles of Kwanzaa, and the one Sandra Lee abuses the most.
Yes, after all that's come out this past year, I still like Paula Deen. I don't love the woman like I used to, but she still manages to not grate on my nerves like some other Food Network personalities (or lack of personality there - Amy Finely anyone?). Still, I don't know how the woman has managed to get this far on in years without having a heart attack.
As I have commented elsewhere (I think on Dan's blog), I don't know any Southerner, or anybody else for that matter, that eats anything remotely resembling fried macaroni and cheese wrapped in bacon.
