Because it's Fat Tuesday

It's Fat Tuesday, and many people are getting their Mardi Gras on. The last day to party before the Lenten fast begins, Catholic Christians - at least how I was taught growing up - traditionally fast from meat on Ash Wednesday and every Friday until Easter (I won't admit that I don't exactly do that anymore). But in Poland, apparently it's still much more fastidious: Catholics not only fast from meat but from grease, and do it all Lent long.

Channel 13's Ron Matz was at Polish Treasures in Upper Fells Point this morning finding out just how Polish Catholics indulge before Lent: with a pączki (pronounced like "POOCH-key - that's a short OO as in "look" not a long OO as in "food") - a Polish donut filled with all sorts of sweet things you want to use up before Lent. Though that video was not up when I wrote this (I'll try to post it if they do), I did find this informative video from About.com, starring chef John Mitzewich and in English no less, about how to make this Polish pastry:

From the "My chest hurts" files

A shout out to Leslie for posting this. It scared me. It scared me because I know just how big and decadent and delicious and wrong an In N' Out Burger is. Remove the buns and replace them with two Krispy Kreme donuts (hot ones, please - the room temperature ones really aren't worth eating), and you've got a coronary angioplasty in the making.


The Where-Is-Your-God-Now? Burger from MAKE MOVIES on Vimeo.

Side note: I have just replaced the "YouTube" tag with the "video" tag, since so many videos are not from YouTube.

Vote and get free food!

If you vote tomorrow - or if you voted early and saved your "I voted" sticker - you can get free food on Tuesday. USA Today reports on the goodies:

• Krispy Kreme will pony up a free star-shaped donut with red and blue sprinkles and white icing if you show them your "I voted" sticker. I don't know if any of the three Maryland locations (Glen Burnie, Columbia or Rockville) is participating. Eh, who cares unless it's a hot donut?
  
• Ben & Jerry's is giving away free ice cream between 5 and 8 PM to celebrate Election Day, but only at the Annapolis location.
• Starbucks is giving away free 12 ounce coffees. At least, that's what the article says. Their website really says nothing about it.
• Ditto the Chick-Fil-á website. CFA is allegedly giving away chicken sammiches for $2.70. Participating ones only.

I wish I knew of other places that had such promotions!

Donut Downsizing

Anyone remember these installments of Dilbert?



I loved the Dilbert television show. It seems as if these cartoonists tried to find people who sounded the same. Alice sure sounds like TV's Kathy Griffin to me!

Exit 31A - MD-147 South (Harford Road, to Parkville)

It goes without saying that there is much to be found on Harford Road. Certainly, that's the case with the Parkville side. But it's an area I have never really explored as more than a convenient shortcut between home and work (Putty Hill takes me from Towson right into Essex). So when I got there the other day I was not sure exactly what I'd find - only that I knew I'd find it. Driving around sure didn't help: too many decisions to be made, and that's just taking Harford Road into consideration. A not-in-any-way-exhaustive list:

• Lee On Chinese Restaurant (map), the favorite of at least one plebeian reviewer, who said that this is a "carry out heaven of chinese,best pepper steak and tso's chicken around [sic]!!" I'll have to give it my egg roll and orange chicken test. And if they have dim sum, it's at least worth a look.
• Marie Conn's Italian and Tex-Mex Kitchen (map) also looked interesting, until I saw that it was empty - and even though I was just quickly passing by it looked totally empty, with nobody and nothing inside. Is it up for sale? I don't want to consign it to the "closed" category until I know for sure. I jumped the gun once and I am still a bit chagrined about it (again, El Salto is very much open for business).
• A few markets, including George's Farm Market (map), which looked more like a florist shop than a farmer's market, the Pavan Food Store (map), Parkville's own Indian-Pakistani market, and Nature's Pantry (map), selling health food since 1976.
• Of course, if healthy vegan stuff is not your cup of tea, there is the Pizza Man (map) pizza and subs place right next door. The New York Pizza and Chicken (map) is a bit further down but not an unreasonable walk.
  
• I almost stopped in the House of Kabob (map), but all they had was a buffet and I had enough food for a while (I stopped there after finding lunch -see below). The next time I'm up this way I'll stop in. If you're interested in learning Farsi, they have info posted right on the door!
• And of course, the local Irish pub, the Emerald Tavern (map). I'm not sure if they have lunch, but it definitely serves its fair share of bar food staples.
  

My head hurt because, as usual, it takes me forever to make a decision. Since I wasn't quite sure what I was looking for, and since it wasn't too miserable out, I parked in the public parking across from the former Atlantic Seafood (Is it now up for sale?) and had a walk around town.

I got as far as across the street.

The folks at both Baltimore Magazine and the City Paper are wild about Jerry D's (map), a Parkville staple that serves, it seems, just about everything. Seafood-wise you sure won't be hurtin' - crab meat (I saw lump from North Carolina and Alabama at $25 per pound each - what about the Chesapeake Bay?), crabcakes, crab fluffs, crab legs (the Alaskan kind), softs, hard shell crabs - just like the Crabby Cousins (map) next door - shrimp, clams, oysters (both North Carolina and Maryland), ah screw it, just look at the menu yourself. Their raw platter must serve a dozen people at least, since it's big enough to cost you a good $100 (that isn't an option for lunch, I might add). Plus, Baltimore Magazine touts its pit beef sandwich (at $5.50) as the best in Baltimore. Don't tell that to the folks at the Charcoal Grill (map) down the street, in the Putty Hill Shopping Center (also home to several other food options)

And, Jerry's serves various Sun of Italy products, 99¢ hamburgers and a dizzying variety of foot long hot dogs, none more than $4. Several are that price, including, among others, their "brat dog" (brat as in bratwurst, not as in Stop kicking me, you brat!), "kosher dog" (only Nathan's finest will do) and their "veal dog" (the weisswurst, with "tiger sauce"?). Their basic dog is their "Jerry Dog" and goes for $2. It just has mustard and onions. I went a little further and got the "Parkville Dog", with mayonnaise, ketchup, mustard and grilled onion. I didn't get home for another 45 minutes, so it wasn't terribly hot, but the fact that it was still somewhat warm was enticing enough. There is just something satisfying, even sensuous (get yer mind outta the gutter) about a nicely grilled foot long hot dog. It certainly compensated for the onions, tasty though extremely stringy - one bite and three whole unseverable onions come right out of the bun. But even with that, it was tasty.

Eeeee-v'ry night he brings me FRANKfurter sandwiches FRANKfurter sandwiches

Along with the dog I started thinking ahead to dinner, and bought a quarter peck (a lilttle over 2 L, or half a dry gallon) of North Carolina oysters ($6, only because our own Chesapeake Bay urshters cost two dollars more). The big heavy bag came out with my foot long, and it took my opening the bag to realize that the peck of oysters were live oysters in the shell. Sometimes, I'm a dumbass. But keep looking for a future post to find out what I did with those oysters last night (again, mind out of gutter).

Yeah, hon, daoze 'rrr urshters!

Before heading back I looked for something to go with my foot long. Now, I rarely eat donuts. I'm very worried that may change after coming across this Fractured Prune place (map) - an Ocean City-based franchise with stores all over Maryland (13 to be exact, with three in OC - and two more in development), 22 locations in all, in such far-flung places as Pennsylvania, Delaware, Virginia and North Carolina - and as far north as Ohio, as far south as Mississippi, and soon to be in Florida.

This place, I think, really could give Krispy Kreme a run for its money if it got big enough (pace all the Krispy Kreme supporters out there - and no, Dunkin Donuts is definitely leagues behind by now). This donut - a hot (that's important) cake donut with toppings dealt out after it's freshly made - has a dizzying variety of flavors. It's almost like the donut version of Cold Stone Creamery - Hot Dough Creamery? - with various icings, toppings (peanut, chocolate chips, coconut, etc) and sugars to sprinkle onto your donut. Here's a glimpse of the variety right here.

And because this was my first time (a Fractured Prune virgin - oooh, that sounds odd), I got to try a complimentary donut, the O.C. Sand: honey glaze and cinnamon sugar (not my choice, theirs, but still). It was a very good donut, too. I kept on nibbling the three others I bought in the car (one dollar each, and already four months' worth of donuts for me):

• triple chocolate (not on their menu, but apparently a featured donut: chocolate glaze and chocolate chips on a hot chocolate donut);
  
• lemonade (just lemon glaze and sugar on a regular donut); and
• the drag-queen-sounding Ms. Prunella (mixed berry and cinnamon sugar, again on a regular donut).

Mmmm. Doooo -nut.

I took Putty Hill back towards Towson (needed to pick up an oyster shucking knife and Bed Bath and Beyond was on the way) and hardly got very far when I realized that I had eaten about half of each donut! Of course, these donuts especially are best when eaten hot. I swear, Krispy Kreme ruined me for Dunkin Donuts by making them hot. And I gotta say, Fractured Prune has now ruined me for Krispy Kreme with their "design your own donut" idea. With one exception, I might add (this would certainly win over Paula Deen): their Prunewich: a plain hot cake donut with scrambled egg, with or without cheese and/or meat. Umm, ick. That is never going into my mouth. For any reason. But the donuts, sure - I'd eat them again. I just have to force myself not to.

UPDATE: Baltimorediary recently posted with some very helpful information. Included are a few places I missed by not going a little bit further (they are now added at the end; links are added by me):

If you'd gone just a little further south, you'd also have struck on Fenwick Bakery, and Mastellone's, an Italian deli that is one of the best in the city. It's owned by the same people who run DiPasquale's in Highlandtown.

Now I know a good Italian deli (map to Mastellone's) on the northeast side of town. And you have to hit me with a stick to keep me away from a good bakery (map to Fenwick), y'all.

Other Photos:

Yes, it is a weird combination.

About the most literal name for a pub I have ever seen. Next to the most literally-named nail salon I have ever seen. Also nearby are the aptly named "Bank", "CD Store" and "Place to Dump Your Old Clothes and Shoes".

Places I visited:

Fractured Prune (donuts / breakfast - one of 13 locations in Maryland, 22 total locations in and around the East Coast) - 8705 Harford Road, Parkville, MD 21234; Phone: (410) 661-9999

• Would I eat there again? I certainly would, though I must force myself to go infrequently
• Would I go out of my way to eat there again? They are now all over the place, so I don't have to.
  

Jerry D's (crabs / seafood / deli / burgers and dogs) - 7804 Harford Road, Parkville MD 21234; Phone: (410) 668-1299

• Would I eat there again? Definitely
  
• Would I go out of my way to eat there again? Sure
  

Places to look up later:

Charcoal Grill (pit beef - one of three are locations) - Putty Hill Shopping Center, 8355 Old Harford Road (next to the Liquor Pump), Parkville, MD 21234; Phone: (410) 668-9212

Crabby Cousins (crabs) - 7800 Harford Road, Parkville, MD 21234; Phone: (410) 668-0020

Emerald Tavern (pub) - 8300 Harford Road, Parkville, MD 21234; Phone: (410) 661-2299

Fenwick Bakery (bakery) - 7219 Harford Road, Parkville, MD 21234; Phone: (410) 444-6410

George's Farm Market (market - produce / flowers) - 7956 Harford Road, Parkville, MD 21234; Phone: (410) 668-3322

House of Kabob (Persian) - 8025 Harford Road, Parkville, MD 21234; Phone: (410) 663-0211

Lee On Chinese Restaurant (Chinese) - 8402 Harford Road, Parkville, MD 21234; Phone: (410) 663-8300

Marie Conn's Kitchen (Italian / Tex-Mex) - 8335 Harford Road, Parkville, MD 21234; Phone: (410) 661-2200

Mastellone's (Italian / deli / pizza) - 7212 Harford Road, Parkville, MD 21234; Phone: (410) 444-5433

Nature's Market (health food / vegetarian) - 7948 Harford Road, Parkville, MD 21234; Phone: (410) 882-5551

New York Pizza and Chicken (pizza / fried chicken) - 7812 Harford Road, Parkville, MD 21234; Phone: (443) 384-2285

Pavan Food Store (market - Indian / Pakistani) - 8904 Harford Road, Parkville, MD 21234; Phone: (410) 663-3201

Pizza Man (pizza and subs) - 7946 Harford Road; Parkville, MD 21234; Phone: (410) 663-1200

***And here's something weird: Google "Sun of Italy", in quotation marks, and http://sunofitaly.com is the seventh link to come up. WTF?

Oooh, I know what they want to give up!

They want to give up all those trans-fatty foods they're all sitting on, right? Not surprisingly, when this music video was over, I just felt hungry. But anyone who's been reading this blog should've figured that out by now. Don't watch if you don't like watching scantily clad, half 1940's half 21st century women sitting on top of donuts and cinnamon rolls, or the overweight hip hop artist rapping about 'em.



Give It Up by Twista featuring Pharrell. I've linked to the former's profile page on VH1. It says something about the state of music TV in America when VH1, the once "adult contemporary" video channel, is now playing hip hop while MTV is showing, well, the Real World.

Getting back to donuts...

This news item from the AP this morning (via Yahoo): Dunkin' Donuts is trying to make a healthier donut by getting rid of as many trans-fats as possible. They have to do this in NYC and Philly, which have banned them in all restaurants. Not to be outdone, Krispy Kreme (which now has a "multigrain" donut) and Starborg's Starbuck's are announcing plans to follow. The inedible Winchell's says nothing.

Why don't they just give up?

Image "Mmmm.....donuts" courtesy of Flickr.com user itspaulkelly, under a Creative Commons license.

Krispy Kreme

One thing I've noticed about Maryland's cuisine is that it's a noticeably Southern one. Open any cookbook of Maryland cookin' (I prefer John Shields' Chesapeake Bay Cookery) and look at the recipes: corn bread, various oyster dressings and whatnot, fried chicken (what non-vegan hasn't had Maryland fried chicken?), greens, sweet potato pies and peach cobblers. And though they're not as common anymore we still have our share of hush puppies, okra, grits and fried green tomatoes (I am getting so hungry right now). Mind you, there are a handful of more Northern aspects to our food, too. We aren't that big on the pimiento cheese, and boiled peanuts are anathema to us. That and we don't see much scrapple or sauerbraten south of the Potomac. Now that I think about it, how far reaching is sour beef?

Our preference for donuts is one of the few things for which Maryland finds itself above the culinary Mason-Dixon line. We are a clear-cut Dunkin' Donuts population. How many of us grew up with munchkins? (Mmmm. Chocolate Munchkins with Sugar Glaze. My favorite.) I always jumped for joy when Mom and Dad brought home that peculiar but handy munchkin box. I rarely ate what was on the top; I always burrowed down to find the chocolate sugar glazed ones, my hand emerging all powdery and sticky. Positively horrifying when touching a telephone (um, eww), but nothing more than a mere nuisance when reaching for your favorite munchkin.

I was first introduced to Krispy Kremes when I lived in California. One opened up by UCR in Riverside and all I heard after that was "Oh, BOY! A Krispy Kreme!" There was nary a Dunkin' Donuts in the area and a serious donuts jones was settling over me. And the local chain, Winchell's, is simply inedible. I had to try this Krispy Kreme place. Getting past the obnoxious Beaver Cleaver-ish children stuffing donuts into their mouths on the mural by the front door was easy enough. The workers happily handed out fresh, hot samples for free! Oh my God, I was stunned at how disgustingly wonderful these things were! I ate too many - only a few month's worth of aerobic kickboxing and much more healthy eating would get me down to the weight I am today. But my, were they good.

I don't eat many donuts these days. Okay, I've had, oh, five since the first of the year. Just don't like 'em anymore - Dunkin', Krispies, I've lost the taste for them. But on rare occasion I will get that jones for them again. And of the five I have eaten in 2007, two of them were today when I went to the Krispy Kreme on Ritchie Hwy. And I ordered them hot. Just as Tarheel essayist Celia Rivenbark notes in her book (I love this title) Stop Dressing Your Six-Year Old Like a Skank - man, if I had a dollar for every parent I've wanted to say that to - they really are worthless when they're cold. Then they're just your average, run of the mill donut. In fact, I'd say several varieties of Dunkin' Donuts surpass them easily. But hot, there's little contest. The best way to eat a donut is hot, and I've only ever had Krispy Kremes that way. I've never had the chance to eat a hot Dunkin' Donut. They're just not served that way!

So next time you find yourself in the 7-Eleven, lay off the Krispy Kremes. And please don't buy a dozen for your co-workers. They're just not worth eating by then. Just eat them in the car after you buy them, and ask specifically for hot donuts. If they have none, leave.

Mmmm. Donut.

I made it down to the Kwik-E-Mart in Bladensburg finally. I just was not motivated to go until I saw THG's trip yesterday. This was also the inspiration for my new Flickr account, where I was geotagging New York photos while watching the new Doctor Who last night (yes I'm geeky, so what. Not hatin' on Billie Piper at all, but I do love Freema Agyeman as the new companion. Rather looking forward to John Barrowman's return though).

Since the movie comes out next week, time (and 7-Eleven empolyee) patience is running out. So if you want to see the only Kwik-E-Mart in the Capitol Region, here's what you do (if coming from Baltimore; if from DC or Virginia, just take the Capitol Beltway to Exit 22B towards Washington):

Go down the BW Parkway (or down 95, to the Capitol Beltway, and then the BW Parkway) and take the MD 450 Annapolis-Bladensburg exit. You'll bear right, and then turn right at either: 48th St (which merges into Kenilworth; the Kwik-E-Mart is on your right), or Edmonston Rd (the parking lot for the Kwik-E-Mart is on your left, just before Tilden, which is the first street after you turn; I took this route).

I have never equated a 7-Eleven with a carnival festival, but that's what it was. All these "tourists" taking photos of everything. This was me, too, taking photos of everything. You can see them all on Flickr, but a handful are here. This includes the hefty promotions, like the delicious Krusty-O's and sugary Buzz Cola (I wonder if out-of-state Kwik-E-Marts are selling Duff Beer, too).

I ended up buying a box of Krusty-O's - just Froot Loops in Simpson's clothing - and a six-pack of Buzz cola, plus two Simpsons-esque pink donuts with technicolor sprinkles, a Big Bite and a Squishee in a Marge Simpson souvenir cup that I could actually use someday. I dumped out the Squishee - too much sugar for me to stand - but polished off a donut and the hot dog. The rest is sitting at home, waiting for me to put it away.

Some other goodies:

Our dogs are guaranteed to sit no longer than five and a half days according to official Kwik-E-Mart health regulations.

Under the watchful eye of Chief Wiggum...