Late-Blogging Top Chef 4: Restaurant Wars

I just read that Dale got his whiny, tantrum-throwing ass eliminated last night. Oh what a night to miss!

Plus, there was some show about a kid named David with a microphone? Judged by a temperamental British guy, a so-so record producer and that crazy woman who sang Straight Up (a song which is now - GASP - 20 years old. I remember it in high school.). If it's the show I'm thinking of, I really don't care anymore. I stopped watching when Fantasia was on.

And while we're on the subject: Paula, if you would...?

Rainy Day in Yucaipa

For a morning in late May, the Inland Empire (California, just to clear things up) was pretty clammy. And Einstein here, who has taught everyone from children to adults in his day job, forgot to bring a hat or umbrella to shield himself from the cold, cold rain. It was almost like Amsterdam in March, only 30 degrees (Fahrenheit) warmer.

That still did not stop me from walking the vast expense of Yucaipa Blvd, which I have never done. Not counting my friend's house (where I am staying), I walked - solely because I felt like it - from Lupita's Mexican Fast Food to the Green Valley Produce Market.

I lived for a few years near Yucaipa, so I am a bit more familiar with it than most Bawlamorons. But I have never been to Lupita's. It's just one of those places you pass by often but never go into. It's not an ominous place. It's just one of those places you look at and you think "Eh, some other time I guess. Oooh, enchiladas up ahead!" even though this place probably has 'em too.

Lupita's is cheery and bright inside, even at 9:00 in the morning - and I wasn't sure what they would have available to order this early. Their menu is the standard yet expansive (not expensive, but expansive) selection of Mexican offerings: huaraches, tacos, tamales, tostadas, ceviche, etc., made of fish, pork, carne asada, lengua, chicken, shrimp, everything. Lupita's also offers a burger combo. Not that you can't find burgers in Mexico, because, believe me, you can. It's quite easy to find lunch carts on the main streets of most cities selling not just tacos but hot dogs and burgers. I got one in Morelia in 2000 that had shredded carrot on it. An odd choice on my part, I know, for only 4 pesos ($4 - they use the dollar sign, too). At the time it went for, oh, 50 cents US. But I'm getting off track here.

I hemmed and hawed and finally ordered two tamales ($1.40 each) - one pork in green sauce, one jalapeño and cheese in red sauce.

The jalapeño and cheese...

...and the pork tamale.

I loved the latter one and saved some of it for later. The pork in the other one was a little dry but the tamale overall was still pretty good. Both tamales were filled with moist and flavorful masa filling wrapped around their star ingredients, but the masa itself was the star, I think. The red sauce was sharp, tangy and tomato-ey, a little spicy, and very good. The green sauce was a spicy tomatillo sauce, again tasty. Along with those I got a refreshing cup of horchata (about $1) and a Mexican candy (another $1), which tasted like brown sugar fudge but was cookie shaped. Total cost for everything: about $5.50 (eat that, Manchu Wok).

After enduring 2.6 miles of the rain, a little hail, sunshine and a newspaper headline in the LA Times breaking the news that American Airlines is now going to charge you $15 just to check one piece of luggage (!), I stopped by the Green Valley Produce, a popular farmer's market in Yucaipa that I frequented when I lived in nearby Redlands. It provides Yucaipa's easiest access to the Inland's freshest produce. There is a wide selection of fresh fruits, vegetables and herbs, from fresh garlic (35 cents a head or 75 cents for 5, grown just up the 10 Freeway) and Coachella sweet white corn (4 for $1) to Haas avocados (didn't catch the price) and peaches ($1.49 per pound), to shrink-wrapped packages of flax seeds, honey-dipped pineapple slices, sugar and hot chili mango and a wide assortment of nuts. Bread, including that "rye bread that they love back East" and sourdough, and a refrigerator case with locally farmed and produced fresh eggs, milk and cheese are also on hand.

I bought a bag of peaches for Jim, whom I'm staying with, for $2.25, and walked back to his office, which was on the way.

It just dawned on me...

I don't usually get political here, but it just dawned on me: Now that I've touched down in the Eureka State, I could actually get married if I wanted to. Not that I have anyone to marry right now but still...

Damn!

Manchu Wok of BWI

Yep, those days of cheap airline food are over. Yes, they were over years ago, but now you even have to pay for the snacks - $5 for a box of assorted snacks on my United flight from Baltimore to Los Angeles. No I didn't buy it. Everything they have to nickel and dime you for.

So I made sure to stop and eat before I got on the plane. Chinese - albeit the fast food version - seemed like a good idea. I got the orange chicken at Manchu Wok for $5.93 after tax. It's not so much that it was bad – at most, it was average – but $5.93 for a peensy amount of orange chicken with steamed rice that can fit into one of those old Big Mac containers from the 80's? With room to spare, no less? And oddly enough, the veggies and fruit that were in with Manchu Wok's orange chicken actually tasted a little on the raw side. I've never eaten any real part of the orange in orange chicken, except for the peel (NEVER the fruit inside it). And the one piece of green pepper and five postage-stamp-sized chunks of white onion also tasted a bit undercooked. Strangely, this was not so unpleasant. All the same, it's not worth $6.

Cupcakes at Towson Library?

Something I've been meaning to tell people about for a while, if I haven't been paying attention to other more cupcake-focused blogs as of late. The Towson Library has a little snack bar in front of it (between the library itself and the parking garage). I usually avoid places like this, but I cannot avoid the cupcakes they sell there. Apparently, somebody makes them at home and sells them. It's $1.50 per cupcake (2 for $1.50 if they're a day or two old). I had lots of errands to do today and specifically went out of my way to get a cupcake. I wound up spending $3, for one fresh cupcake and two day-olds. Good cupcakes. And Berger Cookies are $1 each.

Wet-Mud Colored Biscuits Filled with Toothpaste

I heard this on NPR the other day, and now it's on ABC. I did not realize that Oreos had not crossed over to the UK. From the sound of things, they aren't exactly welcome. This is funny, actually. If you are wondering how to obtain Oreos in the UK, here are some hints. Though really, why would you want to? They're not very good.

A picture of an asshat is worth a thousand words about an asshat

Kathy (Minx) just made me laugh very hard with this doctored photo of TC4's resident jackass Spike Mendelsohn, whom y'all know I don't like all that very much:

I wish I had thought of it first!

Mmmm, Delicious!

Aaaah, the things you can find on YouTube. This time, a fan video brings a Dr. Demento favorite to life! I feel all "second act of Sunday in the Park with George"-ish now.

By the way, this is performed by Jim Backus and Hermione Gingold, not Phyllis Diller.

Memorial Day Poll: Charcoal, Propane or Me?

Are you a propane purist like Hank Hill, going for that smooth, even burn that only gas can give? Or do you think a real man (or woman) passes up that wussy propane for the drier heat and heartier flavor that only charcoal can give? Or maybe you'd rather just go to McDonald's? Each camp has its plusses. Propane is easy to use, though charcoal really imparts a nice flavor (that and I'm writing while someone outside is grilling with it). Then again, you can always just use an electric grill if you do all your grilling inside (here's Adam at the Amateur Gourmet talking about the ins and outs of indoor grillin').

What do y'all think? I'm firmly in the charcoal camp to be honest, but that's me. So, charcoal, propane, electric, or what? And if you're just having a Soyjoy - eww - this Memorial Day coming up, weigh in anyway. Whatever you do though, do it by the 31st. That's when the poll closes.

BTW: the results of the last poll are up: with 46 people voting (or 46 different votes), the broiled crowd wins in a landslide with almost 2/3 of all votes cast.

Fortified with Weird

Why does this commercial for Soyjoy freak me out so much? Is it the cloud? The way the little cartoon person is walking? Or maybe the houses waving to her in the distance?

Rub BBQ

This past week I met up with friends for dinner. We debated about where to go and they suggested barbecue. Rub BBQ at the southern end of Light Street, is an easy place to ring up a huge bill, but it's also equally easy to get full on $20 after tip. Of course, I chose the latter option.

The night was nice enough that we got to sit outside, though inside is quite comfortable. The decor is very Texan, while HDTVs show baseball and English Premier League soccer - giving a sort of sports bar aura. That is, if sports bars served Texas dry rub BBQ. Various beers were on tap, including both Blue Moon and Honey Moon (Blue Moon with honey). I ordered the Honey Moon for about $3. My friends got a bottle of wine - I think it was a Shiraz. No, I'm wrong - it was a Syrah. I give up. You can tell I'm not sommelier material here. But the same can probably be said for the twenty or thirty somewhat loud twenty-something men and women coming in from (I think) a series of kickball games. They didn't bother me, except for the four or five drunk fools who stumbled around in the street as we were pulling up to find parking (not hard to do), ogling a big fluffy white cat roaming around on the awning of one of the local buildings. You'll do just about anything when you're drunk.

Rub BBQ offers Texas-style barbecued Angus brisket, sausage, pork flat ribs, chicken and turkey, plus a whole host of other offerings - sandwiches, platters, hot wings, and a whole host of vegetable and other sides. Both my friends opted for the three-meat platter with two sides ($16 each), while I went for the still-filling two-meat platter ($13), again with two sides. My choices were flat ribs and Angus brisket, with sweet potato fries and Texas corn pudding (this one, unlike the recipe I just linked to, is without jalapeños). Included for free is a slice of Texas toast, raw onions and pickles (that includes a pickled jalapeño). All was very satisfying, though I fully admit that I'm not used to dry rub - most of my barbecue has been on the wetter, more vinegary side, though I have to get up to that Alabama BBQ Company at some point. They have that odd sounding but delicious mayo-based BBQ sauce.* As for Rub BBQ and its dry rubs, they let you get around that with BBQ sauce at every table, mild, hot and honey-mustard. I went for the hot, of course.

Everything was quite good. I was impressed with the Angus brisket - more tender and juicy than I am used to in a brisket. I must say this was the best brisket I have had in a very long time. Same with the ribs, which I naturally assumed would be much messier than they were (again, dry not wet). The creamy corn pudding was a very pleasant surprise. I've never had it before and will be making it for myself at some point soon. And what little of it I did bring home - yes I got a doggy bag - did live up to a second meal.

The total for all of us was about $80 before tip. That included a two-meat platter and two three-meat ones, one bottle of Syrah (about $30 - which is why I don't usually buy wine. I only had a little of it so my friends got the cost of the wine) and a Honey Moon (about $3). My math may be off here, and I may still be wrong about the prices of the drinks. My cost was about $20 - for the platter, the beer and something towards a tip. I'll have to head back sometime this summer - even if I can't avoid drunken kickballers harassing cats on rooftops!

*I haven't been able to find a good run down of all the many varieties of barbecue/barbeque/BBQ varieties in the US, not to mention all over the world. Wikipedia's comes close, though they make no mention of Texas dry rub at all, and instead imply that it's only found in Arkansas. If only we could get local boy Steve Raichlen in here to sort it all out - he's up on both BBQ and grilling, which are - of course - two different things altogether.

Exit 31C: MD-43 East (White Marsh Blvd, to White Marsh)

Ah, White Marsh! Or Nottingham, if you go by what the post office says. Land of shopping, shopping and more shopping! Standard mall shopping, upscale shopping and IKEA shopping (and have you tried their cafeteria? I have. Even wrote about it a while back).

Exit 31C only exists in the inner loop, and it's one of those irritating left exits. And once you're there, you have to do some serious driving to get to anything other than half-foreclosed condos, past a Wal-Mart and a storage facility, past Route 1 (coming up next time), and on to White Marsh. First stop: White Marsh Plaza, your typical supermarket-anchored strip mall.

Driving around White Marsh Plaza, I found one mom & pop restaurant, the China Wok (map) next to Giant. They seem to be doing what a lot of Chinese places are doing these days - selling not just Chinese, but also Thai, Korean or (in this case) Japanese. It's worth a look, but I've had my fill of fast Chinese food for one month. So I headed to White Marsh Mall (map). And of course, I found lots and lots of junk, specifically in their food court - the enticingly named "Carousel", appropriate only due to its large carousel in the middle of the food court.

The two most viable dining options were, in fact, sit down places. Lin's China Buffet, with its 100 item buffet (I've had issues with 100 item buffets in my life) was massive but had more employees inside than customers. So no. The other was that old reliable standby known as Friendly's, which I've eaten at many times, though never at the one in White Marsh. I passed it up for other options.

I headed out to the Avenue at White Marsh (map), which has mostly national chains and outlets (Don Pablo's, Starbucks, Chili's, Omaha Steaks - which isn't an eat-in place, and opening soon, a Cold Stone Creamery) and some I have written about before (Kobe Grill, Red Brick). But a few places I did consider:

• The Bayou Café, one and only one location - the Avenue. Packed for lunch on this beautiful day. They look like a bar and grill, and serve what seems like a combo of Chesapeake, Cajun and barbeque. Some interesting items on their menu, which will probably draw me there soon enough, include their Cajun blackened scallops ($10 - I love scallops), their po'boy ($9. It's a sandwich I haven't had this close to the Mason-Dixon Line for a good while - and don't go to Popeye's if they say they've got one), and their "Avenue Alligator" ($9) which features - yes - alligator, wrapped in bacon and done up in a mango barbeque sauce.
• Della Rose's, which has two locations - White Marsh and Canton, their original location which has been around since 1944. When I first saw the place, I naturally assumed (from the name) that it served Italian food, but they do serve more - a combination of Italian, Maryland, and American comfort food. More interesting menu items include their Caesar Bruschetta Salad, chicken parmigiana with spaghetti, Cuban burger, and various menu items tapping into the wonders of the Chesapeake Bay, including the standard Maryland Crab Soup, but also their Grilled Norfolk - Virginia ham and Chesapeake Bay blue crab (good LORD). I found these on the online menu, but alas, I saw no prices next to them.
  

And then there's Zack's Hot Dogs. I went to this last place for a small lunch. It's a compact but colorful hot dog joint with minimal seating - best to just do what I did, and take it outside to eat by the fountain. I've never seen so much variety in hot dogs, except at, say, Jerry D's in Parkville. Orange Julius doesn't even come close to that variety, nor does that hot dog place at Arundel Mills (the one with the lemonade). They also serve sausages and "not dogs" (subs, reubens and the like). Typical dogs (all around $3.50, $6 for a combo) include:

• New York Dog, covered in chili and NYC-style "street cart" onions;
• Chicago Dog (those Chicagoans love their hot dogs, don't they?), covered in chopped tomato and onion, with spicy mustard, relish, peppers and a pickle wedge on top (always difficult to eat, always tasty, wherever you go to get it;
• Southern Dog, basically a Carolina Dog, covered in cole slaw and chili;
• Southwestern Chipotle Dog - a sausage with salsa, jalapeño, cheddar cheese and chipotle mustard on it. That one sounds like a mess - I'm avoiding it;
• And here's a nice surprise: the Baltimore Dog! I thought it would be something silly, like a hot dog topped with crab or something. (I love hot dogs, I love crab. Still, ick.) But no: it's a kosher dog wrapped in a piece of fried bologna. My mother made this for me every time we went to Attman's for kosher dogs, bologna and whitefish. I don't know why she did that, but I guess it is a Baltimore thing after all!

Despite the allure of a hometown hot dog, I stuck with the Southern Dog. But I will go back at some point for the Baltimore Dog. I ordered the combo, with fries (can also get cole slaw, potato or pasta salad, mac and cheese, or beanies and weenies) and a 20 oz drink for $6.

The Southern Dog Combo ($6 exactly, before tax that is), with curly fries and a Diet Pepsi

I liked the hot dog, including the roll, which seemed like a moist and tasty potato roll. The cole slaw is crunchy and better than I had expected it to be, while the chili is pretty standard. The fries were a throw away item, even after I smothered them in Old Bay and various other spices lined up along their wall. I would certainly go back, but probably just for the hot dogs. I love those frankfurter sandwiches.

Other photos:

Okay, I know it's a buyer's market. Oh hey, is Giant for sale?

I really don't know how to follow that one.

Ummm, hello?

You just know they're heading for that last copy of Grand Theft Auto IV.

Mmmm. MSG and hydrogenated oils and high fructose corn syrup an other preservatives.

Places I visited:

Friendly's (over 500 locations in sixteen states up and down the Eastern seaboard - not on this trip but many times in the past. I don't eat there much anymore.) - White Marsh Mall, 8200 Perry Hall Blvd., White Marsh, MD 21236; Phone: (410) 931-7216

• Would I eat there again? If I had to
• Would I go out of my way to eat there again? No

Zack's Hot Dogs (hot dogs - four locations in the Baltimore area, including Carney, Bel Air and the Inner Harbor) - The Avenue at White Marsh, 8137 Honeygo Blvd. (next to the movie theater), White Marsh, MD 21236; Phone: (410) 931-1234

• Would I eat there again? Yes I would
  
• Would I go out of my way to eat there again? Probably

Places to look up later:

Bayou Café / Blues Bar (Cajun / Chesapeake / American) - The Avenue at White Marsh, 8133 #A Honeygo Blvd., White Marsh, MD 21236; Phone: (410) 931-2583

China Wok (Chinese / Japanese) - 7916 Honeygo Blvd., Nottingham, MD 21236; Phone: (410) 931-3586

Della Rose's (Italian / American / Chesapeake - with two locations in the Baltimore area) - The Avenue at White Marsh, 8153 #A, Honeygo Blvd., White Marsh, MD 21236; Phone: 410-933-8861

Lin's China Buffet (Chinese / Japanese) - White Marsh Mall, 8200 Perry Hall Blvd., White Marsh, MD 21236; Phone: (410) 933-8878

SoCal ain't got NUTHIN' on us.. in terms of AGGRESSIVE DRIVING!?

I just turned on WJZ. Apparently, Charm City drivers ain't so charming on the road, where we rank #4 in overall aggressive and bad driving habits, behind Miami, Boston and New York and just ahead of Washington. We specifically rank #4 in using cell phones while driving, #3 in speeding, and #1 in eating while driving (hence the post on this blog). And here I figured I was just bringing what I learned in SoCal to Maryland. Texting and emailing while driving (!) were new big problems for the past year.

What's even more surprising: the most polite drivers are from Pennsylvania! Pittsburgh ranks as the most polite driving city, followed by Portland, OR., Seattle, Minneapolis and Cleveland. I still can't get over Pittsburgh being the politest driving city. In my last four years driving in Maryland again, it always seemed that Pennsylvania drivers were consistently the most aggressive on Maryland roads! (No offense to Pennsylvanians - that's just what I've experienced).

Top Chef 4 Live Blogging: Serve and Protect

This week will be my last live-blog for a little while, as this time next Wednesday I will be somewhere over the Continental Divide on my way to LAX (and from there the smoggy Inland Empire). Of course, you won't need my assessment of the silliness on TC4 - there are excellent weekly reviews from Kit, Kathy, Xani and Erin and David Dust, most of whom are local (well, not David), and all of whom have been doing the xlnt recaps. And of course, read this play-by-play of tonight's episode, involving men in uniform (and most likely some women, too).

The drink selection for this evening? Abita Restoration Pale Ale, brewed in Abita Springs, Louisiana. I visited New Orleans in '02. My very first visit to a po'boy stand was illuminating. I asked the guy next to me what they had, Abita or Dixie, and which he'd recommend. He, and about everybody else in New Orleans seems to recommend Abita. When I said I liked Dixie they looked at me like I had crawdads crawling out my ears. It took asking a bartender at a local gay bar why: because Dixie Beer, it seems, just isn't very good. Or wasn't. They don't make it anymore.

On to the festivities...

10:03 Andrew scares me. Already a drink-worthy remark. DRINK!

Ooooh. Sam Talbot from TC2 is guest judge today. And the quickfire challenge: salads. Andrew makes some inappropriate remark? Not yet. Dale gets pissy? Not yet. Hmmm. But the night's still young...

10:05 Lisa: "There are definitely some people who don't deserve to be here..." Wait fr it... Waaaaait....

Like you, Lisa? Oooh, pwned! DRINK!

10:06 These people had 45 minutes to make this salad. Stephanie didn't finish? WTF?

Again, what impresses Sammy boy? Not Lisa's. Antonia's is a wee bit sparse, but delicious. I guess these guys really do go for microscopic plates.

10:08 No reaction from Sam to Rich's. He did seem to like Dale's.

Yikes, Rich's was unimpressive. The glow is gone. Same with Steph. And again, Lisa.

Spike, Antonia and Dale were the most impressive. Wait, who else is there again?

10:09 Ooooh, Spike wins. Hissssssss.....

10:10 And now for some fast food items for the elim challenge (Spike is still eligible - no immunity anymore, so one can hope).

The elim challenge? Make healthy box lunches for the police academy cadets! And you must choose something from a specific food group. Spike gets a 10 minute headstart and can choose one ingredient from each food group that nobody else is allowed to use. Not good for everybody else.

10:15 DAMN do I hate Spike. And look, the prick is choosing the absolutely most common ingredients for his dish, so that nobody else can use them. Chicken, lettuce, bread and tomatoes.

10:17 God, I really, really want to kick his ass.

Abita time...


10:18 So obviously, everyone else compromises. Rich does bok choy and tuna, Lisa is doing something with shrimp, Andrew? Apparently he is making "success".

10:19 So again, their four food groups they must use: a lean protein, a starch?, a vegetable and a fruit.

Andrew is making a sushi roll with parsnip and pine nuts. Um, dude, Spike didn't choose rice, too.

Dale is doing beef filled lettuce cups and Vietnamese style stuff.

10:20 Thank you for saying what I thought already, Antonia: Dale's schtick really is just Asian food.

10:21 Lisa whining about those pesky rules again.

Steph has soup, Lisa made spicy shrimp and edamame "chili" thing.

10:22 And Spike is making a sandwich? WTF? He's not really using them, just putting them out there to be looked at and used if they want to use them?

Anyway, Rich's, um, things look interesting. It probably would be. He could make doody in a box and the judges would love it.

10:24 And here's where the sabotage begins: Lisa has turned up the heat on her rice? Steph thinks it's just a mistake.

Still, DRINK!

10:25 And Dale sabotages himself by almost breaking his neck on a cooler.

10:26 Did I mention how much I despise Spike? The hatred dulled a little bit over the past few eps, but it's back full force now.

And what's the point of these A-List Awards again?

10:27 Soyjoy - fortified with optimism, and refreshingly taste free!

10:28 Lisa is writing directions on the containers. Not bad, but efficient? We'll see.

10:29 To the chefs:

So THAT'S what Rich made - burritos. Tuna burritos. Good idea.

10:30 Oooh, some of these guys probably need this healthy stuff.

To up the slime factor, Spike puts as few plates out as possible.

10:31 Mushroom and meatball soup with fruit-veggie purée and yogurt. The judges love it.

Again, Spike made the bread totally optional. Could the others use pita too?

Oh, SNAP! The judges are bored with it!!! Heheheheheheheh...

10:32 Dale's Asian-dish-of-the-day goes over well with the cadets, okay with the judges.

10:33 Further notes: Antonia pleases, Andrew goes all raw-food on us and the heat overwhelms the heat-lovin' Chicagoans. The judges are not happy with it.

10:34 Let's see how Rich's quinoa burrito goes over... Tom: "Tastes better than it looks, fortunately." Good?

As to Lisa: They like it but the rice is undercooked. And SPICY again!

10:35 Nothing drink worthy for a while... DRINK!

10:36 Yes I admit. I am the only non-straight-white-male who neither is seeing nor cares about the new Sex and the City flick. Please don't hate me, loyal readers. Even though Sarah Jessica Parker's dress at the London premiere was kinda silly.

They look like they're trying to weed her head. Photo courtesy of Getty Images. Linked from "http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/thedishrag/2008/05/live-from-londo.html"

10:41 And Dale and Steph are the winners! I'm hoping for Steph's hearty soup. No top three this time? Hmmm.

10:42 Many of the chefs had seasoning problems. But not these two. And the winner: Dale. At least now nothing will be broken or banged while the loser throws a hissy fit. A DRINK for the judges' table that could've been.

10:43 Spike's in the bottom three, with Lisa (AGAIN) and Andrew. It feels so good to see him [CORRECTION: Spike, that is] here.

Andrew: a not-so-very substantial dish landed him in the bottom three. It wasn't satisfying enough for the "I like hearty stuff" crowd. C'mon. Why wouldn't cops in the corruption-riddled Windy City want to eat lean and sparse stuff just because?

10:45 Spike is in the bottom because with he chose the most boring ones and wasted two hours making such a conventional dish. And the judges are not happy that Spike seemed to choose ingredients merely to screw over the other chefs.

Spike: "What do you understand about salty and sweet?" Did that just come out of his mouth? Same old argumentative Spike.

10:47 Lisa is there because of her Lisa-ness her food was undercooked. And now Lisa starts throwin' the accusations. Lisa throws Andrew under the bus for not following the rules (she's been under that bus before). DRINK DRINK DRINK!

10:48 Andrew, don't punch Lisa (not like he said he would). Could he punch Spike instead?

10:49 How many times has Lisa wound up in the bottom three again? She's there, like, almost every week!

That Lisa-Andrew confrontation they promised turned out to be less than exciting after all.

For Ted, possible sabotage isn't an issue because there were several problems with her dish.

10:50 Failure of imagination, too much time doing so little. Spike did not expect to be in the bottom this time, I think. He was a victim of his own cleverness?

10:51 Tom: "There's no way I would go back to that - **MAKES AIR QUOTES** - 'sushi'."

10:52 My own personal preferences aside, I really think this is Andrew's night to go home to creepy phallic comment land.

10:55 Yep, the new season of Shear Genius looks stupid already. Apparently, Eva Longoria and Moby are competing.

10:57 Final comments - Andrew can't make the cops replace flavor for nutrition (why couldn't they go together).

Why is Lisa here again?

And the loser is...

ANDREW! Can I call 'em or what?

No, no don't let him shake your hand!!!!!

No Spike is not madcool.

10:58 Lisa is STILL complaining about the rules. Dude, you're not going home. Don't whine as if you are!

10:59 And next week: the final folks work in a greasy spoon? Or is this just plain restaurant wars? I won't know - I'll be on an airplane when this is on. So I'll have to watch this later on. I'm sure others will cover it with aplomb.

FINAL THOUGHTS: As much as I hated what Spike did, and as much as Lisa (and, again Spike-who-is-too-clever-for-his-own-good) deserves to go home alright already, it was painfully obvious tonight. Andrew screwed up, and he needed to go away. No more "culinary boner" references I guess. Oh well. On to SoCal (for me, not these schmucks).

Bring me my breakfast! (Or Ghosts from My Childhood)

Rita Moreno could live to be 100. She just will never get old. (This is from The Electric Company in the early 1970's. It takes me back, old school!) Judy Graubart is Cinderella.



And of course, I show you this on the heals of this strange news. Y'all know it's going to suck. But if it still helps children to read, the suckiness will be at least tolerable. Oh, and can you believe there is a new Fraggle Rock live-action movie in the works? No, I can't either! Again, it will suck. But at least they're going to use actual muppets and not CGI or anything useless like that. I hope they stick with the puppets when they finally decide to turn Tony Award winner Avenue Q into a movie.