Because it's bacon

It's BA-COOOOOOOOOOOOOON!



I'm watching it on The State's 4th season DVD.

Maryland Food Bank: September Is Hunger Action Month

I just got this email from the folks at the Maryland Food Bank. They're making September a month of action against hunger. During September and October, there are a lot of things y'all can do around town to make a dent in hunger for the over 450,000 Marylanders who are at or below the poverty level (not to mention all those who are hovering just above it). I've copied and pasted their contact information below (all email addresses transmitted in the email have been deleted to prevent the MFB from receiving spam). Everything that follows is their text.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: August 28, 2009

CONTACT: Audra Harrison

Maryland Food Bank to Recognize September as Hunger Action Month

Events throughout the month will help raise awareness and support for ending hunger

BALTIMORE —September is Hunger Action Month, a month dedicated to raising awareness and support for ending hunger in the U.S. The Maryland Food Bank, along with corporate partners and our national affiliate Feeding America, will be recognizing Hunger Action Month through several events and programs throughout September to urge the public to help us end hunger in Maryland . Marylanders can easily donate to the Maryland Food Bank during Hunger Action Month online at our Virtual Food Drive (www.mdfoodbank.org).

While Maryland is often ranked the wealthiest state in the nation, the number of Marylanders that are hungry is startling. There are 455,000 Marylanders at or below the federal poverty level. This number is likely larger due to the working poor who utilize emergency food services to make ends meet and the effects of the economic recession on middle class families. Of those in need, the Maryland Food Bank and our network partners serve 370,000 individuals annually. To meet our goal of ending hunger in Maryland , the Maryland Food Bank would have to distribute 79 million pounds of food annually. In Fiscal Year 2009, we distributed 16.7 million pounds of food. Our goal for FY 2010 is to distribute 18.3 million pounds.

Food Facts: $1 provides more than three pounds of food, $1 provides more than two meals, and $5 provides two weeks worth of lunch to someone in need.

September Hunger Action Month Events

Macy’s Come Together for Hunger— Macy’s, in partnership with Feeding America, the Maryland Food Bank’s national affiliate, will launch their campaign to “Come Together” to end domestic hunger. Macy’s will also be hosting “The World’s Largest Dinner Party,” at 6pm on September 15, 2009, in Macy’s stores across the country. The in-store event will have customers join in the “first course” of the nationwide party to celebrate the launch of the “Come Together” campaign.

On Saturday, October 17, 2009, the 19 Macy’s stores in Maryland will be holding “Shop for a Cause” by asking customers to purchase special coupons for $5 with proceeds going to the Maryland Food Bank.

Pei Wei Asian Diner Restaurant, with locations in Columbia and Baltimore , MD will offer customers 50% off their new entrees with a donation of Ramen Noodles on September 9, 2009.

Maryland Seafood Festival, held at Sandy Point State Park , will be providing $2 for each ticket purchased online for several charitable organizations, including the Maryland Food Bank from September 11, 2009 – September 13, 2009. Additionally, any canned food donations at the festival will be collected to help “Sink the Ship” at the entrance of the festival.

Community Kitchen Groundbreaking—The Maryland Food Bank’s Community Kitchen groundbreaking will be held on September 15, 2009 at 10:00 AM at our Baltimore distribution center. The Community Kitchen will be an exciting new center that will train low-income men and women in food production skills while transforming donated prepared and perishable food into nutritious meals for hungry individuals and families in their communities.

Cianbro “Drive Out Hunger” Food Drive and Golf Tournament—Cianbro Corporation is doing their part to help end hunger by urging their team members, vendors, and customers to donate to the Maryland Food Bank. Cianbro will be holding its 1^st Annual Golf Tournament to “Drive Out Hunger.” The goal is to raise monetary donations as well as 100+ pounds of food. The golf tournament will be held on September 17, 2009 at Compass Point Golf Course in Anne Arundel County. Each player is asked to donate $50.00 to the Maryland Food Bank. Volunteers and guests not playing golf are asked to donate $20.00.

Progressive Corn for Kids—Progressive, a leading motorcycle insurer, will be giving away roasted corn on the cob during Delmarva Bike Week for a suggested donation of $1 an ear. Delmarva Bike Week runs from September 17, 2009 – September 20, 2009 and proceeds will benefit the Maryland Food Bank.

Hardhat Comedy Tour Sponsored by Volvo Rents—On September 24, 2009, the Hardhat Comedy Tour featuring Matt Kazam will come to Magooby’s Joke House in Carney, MD. Admission is free with a donation of three cans of non-perishable food to the Maryland Food Bank. For more information, visit www.hardhatcomedy.com or www.mattkazam.com.

Maryland Food Bank’s Partner Conference—On September 25, 2009, the Maryland Food Bank will bring together our more than 900 network partners and Maryland Food Bank management for a full day seminar with workshops, information stations, and networking opportunities.

Ellicott City Fall Festival—Historic Ellicott City will be accepting food and monetary donations for admission to activities at the Ellicott City Fall Festival on September 26, 2009 from 12:00 – 5:00 PM. All proceeds will benefit the Maryland Food Bank.

Cheesecake Factory’s “Share the Spirit” Campaign— On September 29, 2009 from 7:00 – 10:00 AM, the first 500 people to donate two cans of soup at the Columbia Mall Cheesecake Factory location will receive a free piece of the new “Stephanie’s Ultimate Red Velvet Cake Cheesecake.” On September 30, 2009, Cheesecake Factory guests that donate 2 cans of food will receive 10% off their check, with the proceeds benefitting the Maryland Food Bank.

Redner’s Markets “Bag Hunger” Campaign—Redner’s Market locations in Maryland will have a Point of Sale drive from August 30, 2009 – October 3, 2009. Customers will be asked to donate $1 at the register to help end hunger with all proceeds going to the Maryland Food Bank.

Weis Markets Hunger Campaign—Weis Markets will ask customers during the month of September to pick up a Fight Hunger donation bag at their stores and fill it with canned goods to donate to the Maryland Food Bank. Fight Hunger Vouchers will also be sold at every checkout with $3, $5, or $10 values, with 100% of the proceeds donated to the Maryland Food Bank.

The mission of the Maryland Food Bank is to lead the movement and nurture the belief that together we can improve the lives of all Marylanders by ending hunger. The Maryland Food Bank has facilities in Baltimore and Salisbury comprising nearly 107,000 square feet of warehouse, refrigerator and freezer space. The Maryland Food Bank, now in its 30^th year of operation, distributes more than 16.7 million pounds of food annually through its statewide network of food distribution agencies. The Maryland Food Bank is a member of Feeding America .

Wha-wha-WHAT?

The lunch hush...

The Brass Elephant is no more. I didn't even know about this until I read a Tweet from the City Paper yesterday. Had I known that Restaurant Week would be the last time it was open, I would have stopped by one final time, not only visiting it one final time but also keeping intact my streak of restaurants closed after visiting them during summer Restaurant Week. My sister and I stopped in for dessert once. We got some crème brûlée in their gorgeous lounge upstairs. It was a nice way to finish off an evening. The Brass Elephant was a lovely restaurant, but I guess lovely doesn't always cut it in a recession. Damn shame.

Top Chef has jumped the shark, dammit.

I'm not live-blogging Top Chef: Las Vegas right now. I'm watching it and I'm just thinking "Eh." I'm scratching my head and thinking "WTF about that craps table?" How is that related to cooking? Okay, I get that they had to use the number they rolled to determine the number of ingredients they had to use. I love this quickfire challenge idea of making small plates with a specific number of ingredients. Now that I understand what they were doing, I'm begrudgingly okay with it. But it speaks to the overall gimmickiness of TC:LV. The show is kind of, well, boring this season.

Anything interesting about this ep and I'll Tweet about it or just update this post.

UDPATE: Thoughts while watching this episode:

1. I agree w/ Ash & Preeti: It is a nice little slap in the face to have to cook for a bachelor party when you are not allowed to marry in most of this country anyway.

2. The Voltaggio brothers are just gettin' sexier by the minute.

3. Doesn't Hector remind you of your friendly neighborhood Klingon?

Hector

Klingon Ambassador

4. I hope no Marylander winds up in the bottom this time.

5. I really should try Basque food some time.

6. Jen looks kind of high. Not saying it to be mean. It's just an observation.

7. I should make a drinking game for Top Chef even if I don't live blog it.

8. Mattin should be required to cook without a shirt on.

9. Mike I. is extremely odd. Has anyone made up a stupid name for him yet?

10. Darn, a Marylander wound up in the bottom. But at least two of them wound up in the top.

Things You Can't Un-See: Soy Joy*

I am screaming inside:



* Yes, I got the "Things You Can't Un-See" title from the always-hilarious Web Soup on G4TV.

If you liked THIS post...

I just added the nifty LinkWithin widget to the blog. It shows some other blog posts you might find interesting if you liked the one you are reading, or need more information about something you read on this blog. I'm working on making the photos optional, though I may keep them if there are no complaints. Please let me know if you think this is a good idea or not.

UPDATE: I've had the feature for about a day now, and it's finally reaching back more than a month to get posts. But I still have to question its choices for similar posts to investigate. Hopefully it'll improve.

13.5% Wine Bar

Sorry about the sparse posting lately. I have been job hunting because the job market for my chosen field (education - have I ever mentioned that before?) is, well, a helluva lot sparser than I was ever led to believe it would be. Figures. So I have been more focused on sending out applications, both to use my current degree and my previous one. I'm a career changer. Great time to change, huh? At least I have some part-time work that seems relatively reliable, but until I find something to supplement it, I won't be eating out too much.

That is the attitude I took into the tail end of Baltimore Restaurant Week for dinner on a rain-soaked Saturday night. But as I said, times are tough and I can't really spring the $30 price tag right now. So I looked for a cheaper meal, and found it in Hampden, hon. I have been to many of the restaurants there, and they seem to fall into the general categories of "good but a little pricey," "good but overrated" and "not-so-good and overrated." Only a handful of Hampden restaurants and eateries are really in that "good and cheap" category, so long as you don't go crazy. I've been meaning to stop by 13.5%, the new wine bar on the Avenue, and food-wise it falls into that last category - "good and cheap so long as you don't go crazy."

13.5% has been open for almost two months now, and apparently they do some bang-up business throughout the week, even during this recession. It looks very upscale, and of course (being a wine bar) it seems that way, but as busy as the staff seem to be (especially around the kitchen), it is fairly casual in terms of its patrons. There is a large wall of wines to choose from in addition to 13.5%'s extensive wine selection. In addition, there is a fairly deep selection of beers and cocktails. Usually a beer person myself, I opted to start off my evening with a wine - it is a wine bar, after all. Just about any wine on their menu can be ordered by the glass or the bottle. If you aim to buy a bottle to take home, you get a discount off the bottle price! My glass of Prosecco cost me $7; the whole bottle would've run me about $25. Had I gotten a bottle and taken it home instead, I'd have been looking at prices I might find at the Wine Source down the street.

Food wise, 13.5% is an Italian small plates type of establishment. Again, it is easy to run up a big tab: an antipasto here, a panino there, a few bottles of wine and a dessert and you're looking at a $50 price tag. So you have to be careful, as I was. 13.5% has a hearty selection of appetizers, panini and small plates, with everything ranging from about $8 to $11. A few dishes that caught my attention, such as

• the "Grilled Cheese of the Moment" panino ($8) that one could say is the panini version of a grilled cheese, using both domestic and imported cheeses;
• the "Antipasti Plate" ($10) that had enough cured meats, olives and cheeses that I could have made a meal out of that;
• the cheese cart that goes around to patrons, offering select cheeses to eat with your wine for $3.50 a piece, or 3 for $10 (if I remember correctly)

I settled for the dish that first brought me in out of the rain: the Spicy Napoleon ($9), which looked too interesting with its list of components: eggplant, roasted red peppers, zucchini and whipped potatoes with sriracha sauce mixed in, layered in between "pasta crisps" - pasta that is baked so that the edges become a little crispy, though soft in the middle. I had imagined it was just pasta dough fried or baked like crackers or papadums. In the midst of all the activity in the kitchen, my Spicy Napoleon emerged. I had commented that it looked too nice to eat, so I wasn't quite sure how to eat it. So I just dug in and ate it layer by layer. The potatoes were amazingly good, buttery but spicy and tangy. It might not be the best choice for someone who can't stand any heat at all, but I like heat, and I found it refreshing. The other veggies and the pasta were tasty as well, though I still liked those potatoes the best. It was a good choice.

Also a good choice was the slice of cake that the couple next to me had ordered. This cake ($6.50) was one of many that 13.5% orders from the Puffs & Pastries down the street. It looked so good that I had to order a piece myself. I was mistaken in thinking that the whipped cream all over it was actually frosting, but it was good all the same. I'm not quite sure what type of cake it was - it looked a little like a carrot cake but tasted more like some sort of spice cake. The eye-popping bunch of champagne grapes that came with it was a nice addition. I have to figure out where to find these, because I'm not a fan of grapes, but I liked these. I could eat these all day.

So with my Prosecco, my small plate and my cake, my grand total came to about $22 before tax & tip (about $24.50 after tax). That's still $8 less than the typical Baltimore Restaurant Week menu, and that includes a glass of wine! I still urge people to support Restaurant Week, but for those of us who can't indulge in it as often as we'd like, there are some nice options. You just have to make sure you budget your wallet. 13.5% is a good place to do that.

Post #1,111: Some observations about Top Chef: Las Vegas

Yes, this is my 1,111th post! Not as big as #666, #777 or #1,000, but it's an interesting enough milestone. And here I am wasting it on some observations I have about the series premiere of Top Chef Season 6, in Vega$!

1a. Number of chefs participating in Baltimore Restaurant Week: 1 (Jessie - doesn't she just look like she would know Duff Goldman?)

1b. Number of chefs who live and work, like, on the Chesapeake Bay and yet has never worked with shrimp (okay, prawns): 1 (again, Jessie)

1c. Number of Murliners: 3 (Jessie again, and brothers Bryan and Michael)

1d. Also from the MD-DC-VA area: the other Mike, from DC's Zaytinya.

2. Other locales well-represented: Seattle (2 chefs), Atlanta (3 chefs)

3. Hotties: Well, they keep putting Bryan and his brother Michael on screen over and over again. And NYC's Ash and Franco-Friscan Mattin (pron. "Mat-TEEN") are kind of cute. As for the women, expect to see a lot more of Ashley and the two Jennifers. No, the rest of the cast is definitely NOT unattractive, but these folks just jump out at me as the ones that'll make the guys and gals go gaga. Now can they cook?

4. Number of obligatory members of the LGBT community: definitely one (Ashe), maybe two (Preeti???) or three (Mattin?????)

5. Number of people cooking at the "molecular level": none so far (thank God)

6. Number of stupid new ideas, because it's like, you know, Vega$: two - that "gold chip for immunity" bullshit and that "This chip is worth $15,000!!!" thing.

7. Best looking dishes this show: the shrimp and grits and that donut thing.

8. Was the relay stupid? No, though Preeti shoulda spoken up before she belabored over those clams.

9. Most irritating thus far: Mike I. and that guy with the sideburns Eli.

10. Okay, how many of these people have tattoos? Just an observation, that's all.

Top Chef: Las Vegas anyone?

Yes, I upgraded my satellite package as threatened in order to see Top Chef: Las Vegas tonight and Project Runway: Lifetime tomorrow night (oboyoboyoboyoboyoboy). I'm not live-blogging it tonight, but if it gets interesting, maybe I will pick it up. In the meantime, I re-direct top Chef: LV traffic to All Top Chef for your snickering-at-the-cheftestants pleasure. Mixed in with that bunch o' boobs are not one, not two, but three chefs who have called Maryland home at some point in their lives: Baltimore chef Jesse Sandlin, and brothers Bryan and Michael Voltaggio, originally from Frederick, now living in Urbana and Los Angeles, respectively. Jesse is chef at Abacrombie Fine Foods (which is currently taking part in Baltimore Restaurant Week), Bryan is chef at Frederick's Volt Restaurant, and Michael is chef at the Langham Huntington Hotel & Spa in Pasadena, CA.

Afterwards, I finally get to see this Top Chef: Masters show I've read so much about.

In the meantime, here's a clip from one of my favorite new shows, G4TV's Web Soup (the YouTube answer to The Soup). Host Chris Hardwick is just a big ball of nerdy awesomeness. Watch as he riffs on a YouTube video of some kid stuffing, er, pizza rolls in his mouth :p That should prepare me for TC:LV tonight.

Video Game - E3 2009 - Web Soup

Forgive me. I was looking for a reason to post something about Web Soup anyway.

Random Notes...

1. I now agree with pretty much everyone I've talked to: Chopped is stupid.

2. I made those brownies I shipped back from California - the ones I bought from the wonderful Fresh & Easy. It's a better-tasting mix than the regular ones. Didn't have anything partially hydrogenated or high fructose-y.

3. Now that's I've had cream top milk, I don't think I can ever go back to the stuff in the plastic jug. Thank you, South Mountain Creamery.

4. Had two job interviews in a row this morning in Harford County (and a headache now, here). Stopped by Venetian Palace in Edgewood - I visited it when I stopped by Exit 33B for the Beltway Snacking series. Got the same thing - a fried oyster sandwich. The fries were just as savory and tasty. The oysters weren't as good after sitting for half an hour in the car.

5. My sister's father-in-law went a-crabbin' today. Got lots! Three of them are in mah BELL-LEH!

6. It never ceases to amaze me or my friends just how much food you can get at Jong Kak for so little money. Oh, duh, and I forgot to take those vegetables when I was visiting them before we went out to dinner (sorry, guys)!

7.. Now that my DirecTV is working, I may go ahead and re-upgrade it so I can watch Top Chef: Vegas, and Project Runway: Lifetime. Very excited about Runway. Not as much about Chef. No live blogging (as of yet anyway) but I may write some haiku about it later. Check out Minx's All Top Chef blog for more Top Chef goofiness.

Because it's the Feast of the Assumption of our Blessed Virgin Mother

Sorry, the Catholic in me is bursting out. And hankerin' for PBJ. At least I "assume" it's PBJ.

On "Julie & Julia" and the act of food blogging

I went to see Nora Ephron's Julie & Julia this afternoon during a matinee. As many of you know, the film is adapted from Julie Powell's memoir of the same name and the book My Life in France by Child & Alex Prud'homme. It's a movie that shows the lives of the two women at seminal moments in their lives - Julia in 1949 and the decade after learning how to master the art of French cooking - and translating that for an American audience, Julie over a period of 12 months from 2002 to 2003 learning how to master the art of French cooking - and disseminating that experience in a new online format known as a "blog" (what's a "blog" anyway?).

Mrs. Child, with fish, taken by husband Paul

It's charming and much, much funnier than I expected it to be. It also has a few surprises, such as how utterly Meryl Streep transforms herself into Julia Child, and how Amy Adams only once reminded me of her Disney princess character from Enchanted, and how Powell's husband Eric worked for Archaeology Magazine (the issue blown up in the background in his office? I bought a copy of that issue).

Ms. Powell, with book, from 2005

The movie also made me hungry - not only that, but also made me want to get the damn cookbook and try this myself. I'm not going to do that, of course. It's already been done, and I don't have the time or money to do this anyway. But I will have to get a copy for my own cookbook library. That tattered little copy of The French Chef I found at the Book Thing doesn't stay open by itself anyway. At the very least, I want to make the boeuf bourgignon that partly inspired Powell to love food the way she does (did I interpret that correctly?), and that ended up getting Child's book published by Alfred Knopf in the first place. I might even try to debone a duck!

I don't have a whole lot else to say about the movie at this point. But I did take some time both before and afterwards to read Julie Powell's reflection on the movie itself, in a brief article she wrote for The Atlantic Monthly. She notes that the "Julie Powell" in the movie isn't exactly like the Julie Powell in real life. She's grateful - after all, how many people can say that their first book was made into a movie? All the same, she marvels at the self-awareness of it all. This passage from her article (no I haven't read her book) resonates with me the most:

I like to think I was more self-aware--just as narcissistic, maybe, but at least conscious of my narcissism and able to poke fun at it. In my experience--even if many contemporary bloggers might take issue with this--the blogging was, at least in part, an exercise in self-involvement. Cooking through Mastering changed my life on many levels. It made me a better cook and a more confident person.

I have to agree: I think the very act, er, art of blogging is a narcissistic act in and of itself. Why else would most of us be writing these blogs anyway? Certainly we wouldn't bother unless we just wanted to. Heaven knows there have been times I was just tired of doing this, and other times where I just had no time and literally had to scale back. But I always came back to it because I enjoyed it.

But then Powell turns it back around, and mentions some of the other things it gave her. To avoid quoting the whole piece, I'll specifically mention the "intoxication" she felt from reading her comments (including the deflation at her first-ever commenter being her mother). As she says in her article:

On the one hand, it gave me readers--passionate readers, involved readers, almost insanely devoted readers--who encouraged, cajoled, prodded, and harassed me into both completing the project and developing my voice as a writer.

Some of us have more commenters than others (I might have more if I was better at keeping up on reading more blogs!). But there's the rub: I know I don't just speak for myself, or just paraphrase Julie Powell even, when I say that writing this blog has also been an act of both narcissism and devotion to my readership. When I published my very first post in '06, I certainly didn't think I would have a book deal. Mind you, I still don't expect to, unless I give myself one through one of those self-publishing outfits.

A blog really is the end result of a desire to talk about yourself and what you enjoy. I would not have enjoyed writing about my crazy life - I'm too frazzled there as it is. But writing about food has focused me and given me sort of a place to stand out there and reveal myself. And yet, would I have ever finished that Beltway Snacking series had people not read it? (Still getting comments on that, by the way.) In a big way, I both did it and put so much detail into it for myself, but also for my readers. The comments were more than just gravy; they were the motivation to keep on doing it. To clarify, I don't mean the comments in and of themselves, but the interaction from readers sharing their own perspectives.

Powell also notes how the whole project is indeed a tribute to Julia Child, perhaps one of the main themes of the film (watch this hit home when she visits the Julia Child kitchen exhibit at the Smithsonian at the end of the film). For me, blogging is obviously not a tribute to anyone in particular - I haven't done anything particularly "gimmicky" except for that Beltway Snacking thing. But it's not fair to call it "gimmicky" and that sounds worse than it is. Nothing wrong with a gimmick - it's just a modus operandi.

The poster

Perhaps the fact that this post about Julie & Julia has turned into a post about this blog is the best testament to the fact that blogging is indeed a narcissistic venture. Well, thank you, Julie Powell, for motivating me to reflect on that. I dedicate this post to you.

Mmmm, Pie Chart.

The funniest pie chart I have seen since last week's episode of The Soup (courtesy of Laszlo Thoth at LaughingSquid.com):


Actually this is funnier than last week's Soup pie chart, since that one was kind of lame.

Y'all knew this was coming...

Baltimore Restaurant Week has been extended through August 23. Hilarity ensues.

Wild Wolf's Beef Shack

When I'm in mood for pit beef around the southwest part of the Beltway, I usually stop at the Lansdowne pit beef truck. For a change, I hit up Wild Wolf's Beef Shack in Arbutus. A medium rare pit beef sandwich costs $6.50, and the meat is very soft and juicy. It's a little difficult to bite into here and there, but that's true with most pit beef. Pretty tasty sandwich here. They also have pit ham and pit turkey.

Things made out of bacon that SHOULDN'T be?

I don't buy into the notion that we should be prohibited from using bacon in every facet of our life, except for Morningstar Farms' veggie "bacon" that tastes like shoes. This strange picture poll from the Huffington Post shows some of the more creative uses for bacon that I've ever seen, which makes Mo's Milk Chocolate Bacon Bar (from Vosges) seem positively conventional! My favorite? Carl Warner's "Bacon World" (shown above). The lamest? Bacon cupcakes. They're just yellow cupcakes with vanilla icing and a pathetic little piece of bacon jabbed into the top. Come on, show some creativity!

Don't Buy This

Wegman's sells the Taylor Classic Instant Thermometer ($7.99), which has "instant" (meaning about a minute to get to the actual temperature) digital reads ranging from between -58°F to 302°F. It also comes with an extra "long-life" battery. They didn't mention that the "long-life" part was in fruit fly terms. I used it to make mozzarella. I was making some more just now and it died half way through the process (yes, I left it on for about five extra minutes, which I admit was a mistake). No problem: just change the battery! After that it would never work again. So what to do? Well, I just got back from Giant with a Farberware analog instant read thermometer for just a dollar more. At least this one needs no batteries. Something told me I should've spent that extra dollar.

Baltimore Restaurant Week: Ambassador Dining Room

Two things always pop up in my mind when I hear the phrase "Ambassador Dining Room" - "Indian" and "expensive". I did not realize just how (as our British friends might say) "posh" it is as well when I stopped by to kick off my own personal Restaurant Week. And "posh" it is. Inside that regal stone exterior that makes the phrase "A Separate Peace" pop up in my head, is an almost castle-like interior that leads out onto a lush garden with a direct view of the big Masonic center next door. On a beautiful August day such as this, it is a lovely place to eat.

I've heard great stuff about the Ambassador's food, too, but again, that's always coupled with "expensive" - as in "It's good but I don't get why Indian food is so expensive here." Yes, I am in that camp, but I am used to eating most of my Indian food at all-you-can-eat buffets. Yes I have eaten Indian for dinner, with no buffet to be found, but you gotta admit: the fabled Indian buffet is a wonderful dining experience. The Ambassador serves up some luscious Indian food (and, ironically enough, a buffet). As I would progress through lunch, I would find out what I usually miss outside the buffet box. I would also find out that the food and the view are pretty good reasons to go, despite some minor annoyances throughout the meal.

For $20 I got three courses and bread: the first course was an appetizer (such as soup, raita or a samosa); the second course was a main dish (and there was a dizzying array of both traditional and not-so-traditional ones) plus choice of one bread (various selections of naan and paratha); and the third course was dessert (sorbets, cake or kheer). I perused the menu, chose my lunch selections, and ordered an utterly forgettable Diet Coke, which had that wonderful dishwater-y flavor that fountain sodas usually have (NB: If you want to drink cheap at the Ambassador, don't order the damn soda. Just go with the free water and leave it at that).

Lamb samosa

My first course was a lamb and pea samosa. Usually the samosas I get are beef and pea or potato and pea, inside a heavy, greasy deep-fried pastry crust. But I love 'em anyway, so I keep ordering them. The samosa I got here was not greasy, and had a thin and very buttery crust, filled with soft ground lamb. It was perhaps the best samosa I've ever eaten, and that's before mentioning the tamarind chutney that came with it. I could eat these all day, and my waistline would not be happy.

Shahi korma with garlic naan

As good as the samosa was, the main course actually was the best part of the meal. I ordered the shahi korma, the "famous dish brought to India by the Mughals" as the Ambassador puts it. I had never eaten it, but since this place is one of the nicest Indian restaurants in Maryland I figured I'd get one of the classics and see how they do it up. My plate - which came out about 10 or 15 minutes after I finished the samosa (I think my waiter was a trainee or something) - was brought out with a lid on it! And under that lid was a plate bursting with basmati rice, a spinach dish and about ten hunks of tender lamb smothered in an almond cream sauce. The rice was standard and cooked nicely. That's important: clumpy rice can ruin the meal, as I've found with some buffets. The little hair's-width of a fried onion was decorative, nothing more. As for the saag: buttery and smooth, and I was so disappointed to see it go. Tasted lovely on the garlic naan that I ordered for my bread choice. The shahi korma was the best thing about lunch today: a sweet and savory cream sauce with raisins and almonds covering chunks of lamb that were more tender than I usually find when I eat out. Regrettably I could not finish it. I was that full by the time I got down to my last piece of lamb.

Rice pudding

My final course was dessert, a kheer sprinkled with minced pistachios, served in a martini glass. It was standard rice pudding, nothing terribly special.

I can't stress enough that the food and the view are two things that are really special about the Ambassador. This is despite some minor annoyances, such as, oh, the price? But I didn't get hit as hard by that since I was paying Restaurant Week prices. I've already mentioned the soda - again, just stick with water. The major problem I had was the choppiness of the service. I have never seen anything like it! It was, literally, equal parts doting, clueless and "Who really gives a fuck?" While it was a nice touch to open my napkin for me, it was a less nice touch to have the waiter stand there watching me wait for him to get my plate when he wasn't helping anyone else (another waiter finally directed him to grab it). The mildly rude - or moreover, socially inept - end to my dinner was when I turned away from the not terribly busy dining area to discretely wipe my nose. By the time I had turned around, the waiter plunked my check on the table and thanked me for coming. Odd enough as it is. Even odder since I was only about a third of the way through my dessert. Dude! Don't drop the damn check in front of me while I'm still eating! That's, like, rude! Don't act rude when a customer isn't being rude to you (if he is rude, then all bets are off). And since the place was about empty, it's not like they had to hurry me out (though they were hustling tables by mine to set up for the dinner rush, so maybe they just wanted me gone so they could move my table). While that didn't exactly ruin my dining experience, it was an unpleasant way to end it, basically sending that fond, special message of "Leave, bitch" that just makes you want to come back for more.

Okay, come back for this.

Despite that "Don't let the door hit you in the ass" sendoff, I still have to say I loved both the food and the view. I would go back if: 1) I had the money, and 2) I liked mildly rude service. Really the service isn't bad (I've definitely seen worse). But for a place that pricey and "posh" the service needs to be better than it is. Don't let it deter you: the Ambassador had some absolutely wonderful Indian food.

IIIIIIIIIIIt's Baaaaaaaaaaaaack...

Another Baltimore Restaurant Week is upon us. I'm saving up to go out some night - or to save money, some day for lunch. Remember: dinners are $30.09 before drinks, tax and tip, lunches are $20.09. Due to the recession, I wonder just how popular this is going to be? On the plus side, normally expensive restaurants get a little more affordable. On the minus side, more people are choosing not to eat out.

Whatever happens, remember to maximize your eating experience by finding somewhere to go where they don't just put average crap that would normally add up to $30 anyway. Instead, look for the places that really give you a bargain for your money. And avoid the places where a typical meal would not normally cost upwards of $30 for dinner or $20 for lunch. I still have no clue why Café Hon does Restaurant Week since you can usually cobble together a full meal for a good bit less than $30 there.

One thing that concerns me: will whatever restaurant I eat at for Restaurant Week wind up closing down not long after, even though I gave them generally good reviews? It happened to Nasu Blanca. It happened to Vīn. Will it happen to some newly unsuspecting restaurant? It almost makes me not want to take part at all, for fear of cursing the place.

"Fleur de Baie" Caramels Part II: Update

Some interesting observations on those fleur de sel caramels I made a few weeks back, in which I replaced the sea salt with Old Bay. If you recall, I could not really taste the Old Bay, so I rolled the caramels in the stuff. I thought it had a fascinatingly salty, spicy, Old Bay taste - something I might eat on occasion, but not something that I would pass up.

Over the past few weeks, these caramels, which have sat in an often un-air-conditioned apartment in their own sealed up plastic container, have gotten a little more crumbly (maybe I just cooked them too fast). Another strange thing has happened at the same time: the Old Bay in the caramels has really gotten pronounced, so that you can taste it without having to roll it in Old Bay. This has resulted in my plain caramels taking on a subtle though still distinct Old Bay flavor, which is quite good. However, it has also resulted in those caramels that I rolled in Old Bay taking on an extremely strong Old Bay flavor that I can best describe as "wince-inducing" - it's like licking the salt and Old Bay off of a steamed crab, minus the crab taste. I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm not used to licking crab shells for any reason. So in the future when I make these "fleur de baie" caramels, I will merely stick to integrating the Old Bay into the caramel itself, and not rolling it in Old Bay. Eventually, the Old Bay will be detectable, and will taste just fine.

Mayo-NAAAAAISE!!!

Yesterday I finally figured out how to both link to and embed a video from YouTube at a specific point in the video. Now that I know how to do this, I can finally present, with confidence, my favorite scene from Mystery Science Theater 3000 that involves neither a scary woman-child pixie named after a musical note nor a dinner date with your family. Damen und Herren: Professor Bobo makes a sandwich out of someone's brain.

Next Food Network Star 5 Live Blogging: The Finale

This is it! We've reached the end! And though Debbie (who I think is Korean or Southern or something - I mean she never said) is no longer with us...



...her memory lives on. I'm kind of surprised that Deb is done for. But I haven't watched last week's ep (seeing a little of it now), and from what I've heard it was a tough decision no matter what.

So it goes down to either Jeff or Melissa. Jeff seems fated to win, which is why I confidently predict that the winner will be Melissa. The reason: Melissa has stumbled a few times in the past and has gotten better. She's also gotten more irritating. Jeff is too good, and that's what kills him: he's too good (although, again, maybe he screwed up last week - I don't know). Plus, Melissa seems to really hit that "Sandra Lee" demographic. I won't say if Melissa is also in the habit of making utter crap like Sandra Lee, but she's certainly as sickeningly saccharine as she is. And that is why she will win, unless - again, as I said with Whatsername our long-gone dietitian - she literally packs her knives into one of the judge's heads and goes. So again:

Runner up: Jeffrey

And our predicted winner: Melissa

Tonight's drink of choice is Shiner Smokehaus Mesquite Smoked Beer, which (to me) really, really has that mesquite flavor. It's an acquired taste, much like the Old Bay caramels I made last week (and which aren't holding up terribly well in the heat - maybe the mistake was rolling them in even more Old Bay).

9:01 Obligatory montage of the past series. Hey, Rick Bayless must've been on last week. And there are some judges from Chopped. Yup, trying to squeeze in as much face time for 'em as possible.

9:02 Ah, bye Teddy, Michael, Brett, Deb, Eddie, Katie, Jen and Jamika. We knew them well, Horatio.

9:03 Oh, that's right. Jeffrey has a daughter. He hadn't mentioned that before, had he? What the hell: DRINK for old time's sake.

9:05
Maybe I should have
Done this live-blog in haiku.
Aw hell, it's too late.

9:05 And we move on to Melissa's family. Yup, y'all know the drill: DRINK!

Time for a rousing chorus of "I Am Woman"! I love the drag queen version in the movie Trick. Wonderful stuff.

9:07 Chelsea Market - hey, I was there!

9:08 I knew Alton would grace us with his more aggressive self - hey, does he have more hair now?

9:11 So of course, each cheftestant has to make a draft of his or her own show. Jeff wants to take "exotic" ingredients - such as "paprika" (WTF) - and use 'em in an American way. Melissa chose some pretentious French name that Alton totally swatted down, and he suggested "Survival!" Cuz she is a survivor! (What?) She's not gonna give up (What!), She's not gon' stop (What!?), She's gonna work harder (Yeah!)

9:12 Jeezy Peezy, not another friggin' Next Iron Chef!

9:13 Didn't get a chance to say how pleased I am that Gordon Elliott is not going to exec produce the winner's show like he did with Aaron "Big Daddy!!!!!!!" McCargo - or the Neelys, or anything by Paula Deen.

9:14 I never realized how cute Brian Boitano is.

9:15 Did y'all know that Sandra Lee won an Emmy? Yup, for Outstanding Hair Styling. I am not making that up.

9:15 Melissa is stressed? Rustic lemon-onion-chicken dish with her patented "four step chicken" (TM).

She looks kinda wooden. But that's what Alton is there for! His advice to the young Jedi: Be yourself. DRINK for mention of her girls.

Alton is pleased thus far.

9:17 And here is Jeff, comfy and, er, orange. Harissa steak sammich with some kind of mayo-naaaaiiise!!! Again, wooden. What was that Stepford Husband grin at the beginning while he scrubbed the griddle?

9:19 Okay, found a copy of "I Am Woman" with drag queens! Lots of sweaty shirtless gay men dancing around but hey, that's what you get with a drag version of "I Am Woman". Ladies and gents: Miss Coco Peru!

9:24 I like both their outfits, though I think a deeper shad of pink would look better on Jeff. Melissa's dress is lovely.

9:25 Hey, was Paula Deen in this season of this show? I forget.

Oh God, this is going to get tedious real, real fast.

9:27 They're going to show the presentations that each of these guys just made.

Awwww, they're bringing them all back! It's a reunion scene!

Oh no, they're getting all "Project Runway Reunion Episode"-ish on us now.

Thanks for sharing your lactation memories, Melissa.

Someone, please remind me how Eddie got on this damn show again?

9:29 Ohohohohohoho, we sure have some nicknames for you people, Tuschie!

9:30 Is it over yet?

9:32 Still not accidental posting on the Food Network home page prematurely congratulating the winner.

9:35 Teddy, on Eddie: "It's my Me-in-a-Bo-o-ox!"

9:36 And now, the pilots...

Melissa D'Arabian: Kitchen Survival Guide (please promise this won't be her opening sequence if she wins). I do like the whole "Plug and Play" thing she uses.

9:37 What does she dress the chicken in?

"My kids" reference: DRINK!

9:38 A little bit of butter? Oh, girl, you would not make it two minutes on Paula's Home Cooking or Barefoot Contessa.

9:39 Whoa, is that thunder I hear outside?

9:40 Overall, I thought her pilot went well. She offered good tips in a non-scatterbrained way. Focused and not needing others to help her. The show still seemed a weeeeeee bit wooden, but much closer to "Dan & Steve" than "Amy Findlay." A 4 out of 5 from me.

9:41 Again: I am so seeing that Julie & Julia movie.

9:45 And now it's Jeffrey's turn...

Jeffrey Saad: the Indredient Smuggler - even worse opening than Melissa's.

OMG, it's HARISSA!!! Kudos for what seems to be the Food Network's first ever mention that North Africa even has a cuisine (it does - it's lovely).

Teddy's so cute.

The food looks good and Jeffrey is goin' very smoothly. But he seems to have just jumped right in with such little opening. Melissa seemed to give more background, which helped. Granted, he doesn't have enough time to really go into what harissa is, but it would've been nice to hear at least a few more sentences on it. Overall, 4 out of 5, but a slightly lower 4 than Melissa's. I think she did a little better.

9:51 Just because they're offering "Maine"-like and "Louisiana"-ish recipes does not mean I want to eat at Red Lobster.

9:53 So at the 53-minute mark, I'm still ready to call it for Melissa! Let's see how my prediction holds up.

9:54 Who is this person in the Proactiv ad again?

9:55 I figured Suze would have tried harissa by now.

9:56 Continued heaping of praise on the cheftestants. Just don't give it to Stefan! (Oops, wrong show.)

9:57 And the winner is... aw, who the hell is this? It's just the president of the Food Network.

And NOW the winner, whose show airs in one week, is...

Pick up the pace, Flay.

(Still not as long and drawn out as the first Make Me a Supermodel finale.)

9:58 Oh, SNAP, I knew it! Cue "I Am Woman"! It's a fun song, okay? Don't hate on me for playin' it. And everything's better with drag queens.



POST-GAME -

Once again, our winner. I'm getting better at predicting these, I think. But had you told me at the start of this series that Melissa was even going to make it halfway, much less win, I'd have said you were crazy. So here you are, crazy and vindicated! And so am I. We start seeing Melissa's rescue kitchen next week. Now I watch Duff promote pizza in the Midwest. Shouldn't he be touting local pizza? Oh that's right: apparently we only have inedible pizza here as far as resident New Yorkers are concerned. How the hell did I get onto pizza again?

ADDENDUM -

I'm deleting the rules for the NFNS5 drinking game, of course, since no one needs them anymore. And yet, to save my hard work for posterity, I preserve them en toto below. This will be helpful if and/or when this series is ever released on DVD.

Drink ONCE:

* If someone says or does something stupid
* If someone talks wistfully about "their kids/spouse/parents/partner/dog, cat or goldfish
* For every Food Network celebrity that pops up (just once per hour for each cheflebrity
* Any of the guests (but not the judges or Food Network personalities) makes a face because of something food related
* Whenever any of the competitors is seen in a state of half-dress (shirtless men / bra-clad women)
* Whenever anyone says the phrase "YUM-O"
*Whenever Debbie mentions that she is Korean or Southern (TWICE if she mentions both in the same breath)
* Whenever Katie acts "dietitian-y"
* Whenever Teddy acts "Teddy-like" (SUPERENERGETICOBOYOBOY!!!)

Drink TWICE if:

* Any team spends too much for their food
* Any of the judges or Food Network cheflebrities makes a face because of something food related
* Anyone says some variation of "I don't know if I can trust him/her"

Drink THRICE (?) if:

* Any of these yokels hooks up.

DOWN WHAT'S IN YOUR GLASS or CHUG YOUR BEER FOR FIVE GULPS:

* If anyone - ANYONE - cries, for ANY reason.

Woodberry Kitchen

I saw The Little Dog Laughed performed by the Mobtown Players at Mobtown Theater last night. Funny at times, emotionally charged at others. It was well done. The play ended at 10 exactly, so I had some time to head over to the Woodberry Kitchen. I had heard about a fave dessert of the Duffman on (yes) the Food Network, a sort of marshmallow-peanut concoction served in a tall drinking glass, with a sugar "lid" melted on top that you have to break through to get at it. This was on the Food Network's new, somewhat useless new show The Best Thing I Ever Ate (I guess they needed to find another venue for the irritatingly belligerent judges from Chopped). I guess it's not so useless, since it's encouraging me to try places I have not been in the area yet, all because of Chef Duff. Thanks, Duff.

So I set out to Woodberry Kitchen in search of this dish. At my late hour of arrival, there were still some seats in the still-crowded venue. It is a lovely, rustic place in an old converted foundry (hell, the complex is called "The Foundry"). Be warned: parking is precious, so unless you're walking from the Mobtown Theater parking lot or parking at the Foundry parking lot, expect to pay for valet service. Then again, if you have the money to eat at Woodberry Kitchen on a regular basis, you probably can afford to use valet parking all the time.

The place ain't cheap, but they're not using crap ingredients either. Woodberry prides itself on using only local ingredients from the region - Maryland, southern PA, Delmarva and Eastern Virginia - specifically the Chesapeake Bay. They boast their selection of oysters and other seafood from Maryland and Virginia. Since I came in for dessert, I hardly paid attention to the entrées, but I did notice the price tags - they regularly averaged around $25. That's apart from the appetizers, cocktails, wine, oysters and clams on the half shell, cheese plates, dessert and coffee. It's a special occasion place in a rustic setting. So again, unless you're going in for cocktails or dessert, the place ain't cheap.

Before I ate my honey wheat bread (on the house), I asked for the dessert menu, but felt a little hungrier than I thought I would be, so I looked for some nice local seafood. Their stuffed Chincoteague clams ($9) were not only one of the cheaper appetizers, but also sounded particularly good to me. What I got for my money was a selection of six baked clams in their shells, stuffed with bread crumbs, bacon and chilies. The clams were nestled on a bed of hot, very coarse salt, in a hot metal dish. Each clam was juicy, and though the breading was worth eating in its own right it didn't mask the flavor of the clams.

My thoughts then turned to dessert. I was disappointed not to see the delicious dessert that the Food Network showcased, but there were lots of others that I had my sights on in the same $8 price range. One sundae featured basil ice cream and gooseberry syrup (interest piqued!). Another was a selection of various cookies and candies, made in-house. But I decided to go with the peach crisp with vanilla ice cream for $8, again made from locally grown peaches (and probably cream). If you're expecting Friday's-type absurdly gargantuan portions, you will be disappointed. Otherwise, it was a nice, manageable dessert, big enough to satisfy, not big enough to hurt. The peach crisp came in a shallow dish, so the peaches and the crisp were compact together, which I like. The vanilla ice cream came in a small ball to the side - good if you don't want your vanilla ice cream half-melted into the dish (if you do, just put the ice cream in the dish yourself). The topping was not as sweet as you normally expect in a peach crisp topping, but it doesn't have to be: the peaches and the ice cream are the sweet part of the dish.

The final bill was $18 after tax and before tip. I could have easily spent three times that if I had not eaten dinner before the play. We're not talking "The Charleston" prices here - it's not a very expensive restaurant. But you'll spend a lot of money if you're not careful, because there are too many interesting items on the menu. It's a damn shame they're not taking part in Restaurant Week, because I had some delicious food while I was here. Eh, maybe the next one...