I WANNA PIZ-ZA!

I just love the Everything Is Terrible website.  Sometimes they remind you just how absurd the 80s and 90s actually were.

Please don't ask what this means.  I have no friggin' clue.

Sometimes, ya just gotta embrace the weird.

Why didn't I know about this before?

Phil Collins. Gorilla. Drums. It's all an ad for Cadbury Dairy Milk (which we can probably find at Wegman's).

And it. Is. Odd.

Encouraged to find this after watching the sumptuous "Walking in Your Mind" mashup by Ithaca Audio for the umptieth time. Oh and don't click on the box about the referee.

An Aunt Sandy Post to get me back in the blogging mood

As stated in my previous post, I've taken a pause in mourning for my father.  It's humbling how many friends will show such kindness to you upon the death of a loved one.  I am quite thankful (and when the horrible day comes, I look forward to helping them out too).

Now that I am back and posting, I had to start with gratuitous silliness.  Yes, more Sandra Lee.  This was the Halloween episode I missed for much more important highlights, Lee's latest lameness (created by MrSuperProductions).  Scratch that: it's not lame.  Anything this absurd can not be described merely as "lame".  It is fabulous and campy in its horribleness.  And by that standard, Aunt Sandy has really topped herself.  Even the slightly out-of-sync audio just seems to completely work here.  She's slurring her words.  Apparently this show was mostly silly costumes and silly cocktails, and very few "recipes".

Please tell me the bunny rabbit thing at the very end means that she will never be cooking or mixing, ever again.

Because it's the Fourth of July

Er, well this is definitely a different take on our national birthday! Courtesy of RuPaul's Drag Race and one of our favorite drag queens, Manila Luzon.

Tags: Gay Video & Lesbian Movies, Logo: Fierce TV

Happy Hot Dog, er, Man

Dear Lord, please do not let this strangeness become a trend. Amen.

The Lady Goes A-Ridin'

As I've said elsewhere: What? The? Hell!?!?

Punched!?!?!?

I really don't know what to say. From SNL. Of course.

Microbrews taste - HORRIBLE!?

If you're a friend of the people who make Coors, of course you're going to bash beers that are actually, you know, tasty. The Atlantic's Uri Friedman points out why Coors family friend-slash-nimrod Rick Ball thinks that microbrews are icky: they are supposed to quench your thirst, not be sipped and savored like a wine. He continues:

A good beer cannot be sickly sweet, and it also can't be overwhelmingly bitter. That's what I have against a lot of microbrews. You can't gulp them down all at once. Frankly, I think microbrewed ales have been promoted and become popular mainly because they are easier to make. Ale yeasts also are more finicky--they don't digest all of the sugars, so they leave all these sugary notes hanging around in the final product. The flavor of an ale tends to be very complicated, while a lager is cleaner and more dry. It's easy to get bedazzled by the spectacle of a busy, full flavor. There's a lot going on. But there is greater virtue in simplicity. You can make a mediocre ale and no one will notice; with a lager, there is nowhere to hide. [Ball, as quoted in Friedman]

It's that second sentence that gets me. You can't gulp them down all at once? If I wanted to do that I'd get a shot of tequila, or a glass of water if I'm really thirsty. There is no reason why I have to quench my thirst with something that tastes like pee.

On the third day of Kwanzaa my true love gave to me

Kathy beat me to it, and found a higher quality version - AND we get to see Aunt Sandy EAT her abomination creation, too! Me, I opted for the rougher one that I've linked to, oh, maybe six or seven times in the past four years. This television event should not be hidden. It should be broadcast from the mountaintops. It is quintessential Sandra Lee. Well, that and this:

Once again, the infamous "Angel Food Harvest Cake". Bonus: try to catch a glimpse of the "Hanukkah" "Cake" sitting on the side.

Because it's Christmas Day

And because it's my blog, damnit.

AAAAOOOO I want Crabs fer Chrismiss...

The David DeBoy classic. And if you think that's funny, try this version which is the same, only much shorter, weirder (yes, weirder) and with crabs!

Sabbatical Flashback 5: Sandra Lee Halloween-a-Go-Go

One of my favorite sports on TBS is making fun of Sandra Lee. Girl is nuts. I think I've linked to her now infamous Kwanzaa Cake video at least three times - no wait, four:

And you should see her meatloaf. It'll turn you vegan right quick.

A really special time of year for Aunt Sandy is Halloween. My first post about her strange Halloween specials was crawling with chocolate scarabs with pretzel legs and eyeball meatballs with olive irises. One can only imagine the "tablescape". Though her next Halloween menu was more, shall we say, staid, her show was a royal pain in the Cocktail Time.

This woman should not be on television. Really. At least not cooking anyway.

✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿

Semi-Homemade Halloween Craziness 2008

(originally posted Monday, October 27, 2008)


It's Halloween, and that means Sandra Lee is on the Food Network wearing silly costumes again! Yes lords and ladies, the queenie of the 'tini is in fine fettle, this time dressing up as our favorite queens from Western European history. Actually, I was a little disappointed this year, since she wasn't as silly as the last few years. Anyone remember this?

I also have to admit: her food wasn't that goofy this year, either. No more chocolate blobs shaped like "scarabs" with pretzel "legs" sticking out from all sides. In fact, I dare say it looked edible.

But it was still pretty goofy. Forsooth:

You're wearing that? To cook!?!?

Sandr... er, Anne Boleyn, is making fried apple and ham balls. Hey, didn't the royal family have somebody do that for them? It seems highly improper for a queen to be caught flitting around with the kitchen wenches! She must have lost her head or something.

Beheaded at such a young age - just for pilfering Henry VIII's apple-ham balls. What a pity.

It's Ren-Fest Sandra Lee! Here Our Grace giveth a nod to Vlad Tepes with her steaks on a stick. Medoubts that Guinevere would have ever seeneth a canteloupe 'afore. Especially one with a ramekin jamméd into it.

Oh Annie, Dreamboat Annie! Little shipofdreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeams!

Doesn't advertizing your Christmas album on basic cable usually mean the successful part of your singing career is over? Just sayin'...

Next in her "Beheaded Queens of Europe" collection: teen queen Marie Antoinette. Yes, she made the "Let them eat pumpkin brioche trifle" joke. Hah hah. 'Tis to laugh.

Actually, it doesn't look that good.

Seriously though, when she said she was coming out as one of the most fabulous queens of all, I really was picturing something more along these lines:


Work it, girl.

Nyah nyahnee boo boo, it's my-y killer rose-tini, and you di'in't get none.

Really, steak on a stick impaled in half a canteloupe doesn't look any less ugly when it's nestled amidst the ultimate "Regal Tablescape"

Oh, My. God.

Gee, skulls and crossbones always make me think of Queen Elizabeth I!

This has been another ripping installment of the "Sandra Lee Makes a Fool Out of Herself for Halloween by Dressing Up and Cooking in Silly Costumes" show. Stay tuned for 2009, when she comes out dressed like a banana!

Or like this:

Work it!

Why does Sandra Lee have a television show again?

What the fuck is wrong with this woman? I mean, seriously!?



And here all this time I was really wondering how to make a block of ice cream look like a baked potato. My life is now complete.

Blast from the Past: Aunt Sandy, Halloween 07

Somebody put together a video of Sandra Lee's costumes for her 2007 Halloween special. If only someone would do that for all her crazy-ass Halloween shows. I'd love to see a rundown of last year's nuttiness, or her fabled Cher costume.

Sandra Lee's 2007 Halloween Costumes in Under 60 Seconds
by HollyRWuf

Sua dose diária do estranho *

It doesn't get really weird until the gorilla shows up towards the end. This is an açaí fruit juice ad from Brazil's Do Bem.

do bem™ - Açaí Juice 100% fruit (Tic Tic Tac Wafer's Keyboard) from Hardcuore on Vimeo.

* Your daily dose of strangeness

Because it's bacon

It's BA-COOOOOOOOOOOOOON!



I'm watching it on The State's 4th season DVD.

Things You Can't Un-See: Soy Joy*

I am screaming inside:



* Yes, I got the "Things You Can't Un-See" title from the always-hilarious Web Soup on G4TV.

Because it's the Feast of the Assumption of our Blessed Virgin Mother

Sorry, the Catholic in me is bursting out. And hankerin' for PBJ. At least I "assume" it's PBJ.

Today's dose of weird...

Cathy called me up from Georgia just to tell me about this weird segment of Sesame Street, of all things. Just think "Sesame Street + 30 Rock = talking lemons".



If you've actually seen 30 Rock, the sketch actually kind of flows like an episode of 30 Rock. But the weirdest part? The lemon kind of looks like Tina Fey, if she were a lemon.

Huh?

Sure, I like getting comments, but once in a while you get one that just makes you scratch your head. To wit, this one from "Marshall" at "foodnrecipes.info" (bolded where there were once links):

Hi,

We have just added your latest post "Food Hunter's Guide to Cuisine" to our Food Directory . You can check the inclusion of the post here . We are delighted to invite you to submit all your future posts to the directory for getting a huge base of visitors to your website and gaining a valuable backlink to your site.


Warm Regards

foodnrecipes.info Team

http://www.foodnrecipes.info

Um, y'all: I never wrote a post entitled "Food Hunter's Guide to Cuisine". I smell a fishing site.