Let Snacking Commence...

Oh God, it's baaaaaack!!!

My brain is well-rested, my kitchen has been busy as always, and things have (relatively) calmed down. I'm bringing back the blog, as silly, tasty and edumuhcational as ever. Look for the first new original post in a while around the first weekend of November...

Sabbatical Flashback 5: Sandra Lee Halloween-a-Go-Go

One of my favorite sports on TBS is making fun of Sandra Lee. Girl is nuts. I think I've linked to her now infamous Kwanzaa Cake video at least three times - no wait, four:

And you should see her meatloaf. It'll turn you vegan right quick.

A really special time of year for Aunt Sandy is Halloween. My first post about her strange Halloween specials was crawling with chocolate scarabs with pretzel legs and eyeball meatballs with olive irises. One can only imagine the "tablescape". Though her next Halloween menu was more, shall we say, staid, her show was a royal pain in the Cocktail Time.

This woman should not be on television. Really. At least not cooking anyway.

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Semi-Homemade Halloween Craziness 2008

(originally posted Monday, October 27, 2008)


It's Halloween, and that means Sandra Lee is on the Food Network wearing silly costumes again! Yes lords and ladies, the queenie of the 'tini is in fine fettle, this time dressing up as our favorite queens from Western European history. Actually, I was a little disappointed this year, since she wasn't as silly as the last few years. Anyone remember this?

I also have to admit: her food wasn't that goofy this year, either. No more chocolate blobs shaped like "scarabs" with pretzel "legs" sticking out from all sides. In fact, I dare say it looked edible.

But it was still pretty goofy. Forsooth:

You're wearing that? To cook!?!?

Sandr... er, Anne Boleyn, is making fried apple and ham balls. Hey, didn't the royal family have somebody do that for them? It seems highly improper for a queen to be caught flitting around with the kitchen wenches! She must have lost her head or something.

Beheaded at such a young age - just for pilfering Henry VIII's apple-ham balls. What a pity.

It's Ren-Fest Sandra Lee! Here Our Grace giveth a nod to Vlad Tepes with her steaks on a stick. Medoubts that Guinevere would have ever seeneth a canteloupe 'afore. Especially one with a ramekin jamméd into it.

Oh Annie, Dreamboat Annie! Little shipofdreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeams!

Doesn't advertizing your Christmas album on basic cable usually mean the successful part of your singing career is over? Just sayin'...

Next in her "Beheaded Queens of Europe" collection: teen queen Marie Antoinette. Yes, she made the "Let them eat pumpkin brioche trifle" joke. Hah hah. 'Tis to laugh.

Actually, it doesn't look that good.

Seriously though, when she said she was coming out as one of the most fabulous queens of all, I really was picturing something more along these lines:


Work it, girl.

Nyah nyahnee boo boo, it's my-y killer rose-tini, and you di'in't get none.

Really, steak on a stick impaled in half a canteloupe doesn't look any less ugly when it's nestled amidst the ultimate "Regal Tablescape"

Oh, My. God.

Gee, skulls and crossbones always make me think of Queen Elizabeth I!

This has been another ripping installment of the "Sandra Lee Makes a Fool Out of Herself for Halloween by Dressing Up and Cooking in Silly Costumes" show. Stay tuned for 2009, when she comes out dressed like a banana!

Or like this:

Work it!

Sabbatical Flashback 4: Baltimore Festivals: Pridefest

When I originally started this blog in 2006, my goal was to explore area ethnic and cultural festivals. It ballooned into something much, much bigger. But I did spend the first summer of the blog's existence going to festivals and writing about my experiences. One of my favorite festivals is Baltimore Pridefest (that includes the Saturday Block Party, whose mayhem has grown on me). I enjoy it because it is a chance to get together with my fellow gays and lesbians, as well as area bisexuals, transgendered and straight Baltimoreans, and celebrate our community. That also includes LGBT artists, drag performers, activists and musicians, including the below-mentioned Men's Chorus, of which I am now a member.

It is not, however, for the food.

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Baltimore Festivals: Pridefest

(originally posted Sunday, June 17, 2007)

I headed over to Droodle Park today for Baltimore's gay pride festival (avoided yesterday's block party like the plague - I don't care if they're gay or straight - a thousand people in the same small space sharing twelve trash cans make a mess). By "gay pride," of course I mean gays, lesbians, bisexuals, trisexuals (?), Homo sapiens, carcino... oops, got stuck in that song from Rent again.

GLBT pride festivals are known for many things, some more stereotypical than others: dykes on bikes (their name, not mine), guys in leather, drag queens, drag kings, shirtless men of all ages (both fit and not), middle-aged lesbian couples with their dogs in tow, couples walking hand in hand where they are not otherwise able without getting beaten. Pride festivals are less known for many things which, actually, are quite prominent at these events: many same-sex couples with children, lots of gay Christian and Jewish groups (I even saw a table for GLBT Buddhists), information about adoption, HIV prevention, GLBT community centers, super-cheesy promotions (Win a vacation today! Free single from the new Hairspray movie), a few straight couples there for a variety of reasons, and vendors selling what one friend and former colleague back in San Bernardino, CA, liked to call "rainbow-colored crap" - and why not? Gay people (though not the ones I knew in California) have money to spend on that stuff, right?

So true, you cannot get away from the ubiquitous rainbow-colored crap at these events.

And there are two things I have never seen at previous Baltimore Pridefests. One, the inevitable protesters (much more common in Cali), and two, edible food.

I found neither today.

As to the edible food: last year I did see a booth manned - womaned? womynd? - by staff at the Yabba Pot, Baltimore's only vegan soul food place (once on St. Paul, now in Pigtown - head's up, Fairfax!). As y'all have figured out, I am no vegan. But I will eat vegan food if I think it'll taste good. I got some jollof rice there once with some Nigerian spinach and vegan macaroni and "cheese." This last item was one that the master chef talked about on WYPR's Mark Steiner show a few years ago. She said she found a recipe that mimicked the consistency and flavors of good mac and cheese, but was completely vegan. Sadly, it was just as fattening as regular mac and cheese, she noted.

The Yabba Pot was not there this year. But lots of crappy festival food was. Stomach grumbling, I tried to find something halfway edible, preferably something that would capture the spirit of a gay pride festival. In retrospect, average, lackluster food captures the spirit of gay pride festival food to a tee, even if not the festival itself.

Amid the dizzying array of straight-owned (not that there's anything wrong with that) concession stands - Thai, Chinese, crabcakes, hot dogs, funnel cakes, cheese steaks - I found a familiar site, Constantine's Greek Kitchen. These guys, if I recall, were also at Honfest last weekend and at the St. Anthony Festival in Little Italy (a logical place to sell souvlaki and dolmas, no?). It seemed like a sign; I chose them for lunch. I almost got the dolmas (a small helping for $4), or the souvlaki for $8. But the fascinating "crab melt pita" (again, $8) caught my attention, so I tried that. And it's painfully simple, but potentially decadent: a pita, topped with melted shredded three cheeses mixed with crab meat - no, not the lump stuff. Again, potentially decadent. This was kind of unexciting. But I didn't have high expectations, and it was a nice , uniquely Baltimorean change for festival food.

I was mostly done, taking in more marriage equality booths and, again, rainbow-colored crap, until I meandered back to the food section. Lo and behold, my eyes alighted on "Rita's Deep Fried Twinkies." I initially gagged and walked off, but then it dawned on me: I will never order one of these things again. Why not be the good, brave scientist and try one of these fried Twinkies I've heard so much about? So, five minutes and $2 later (plus $1 for a bottled water), I had the hot, steaming fried Twinkie, drizzled in chocolate and powdered sugar, in my hands. I had to sit under a tree and try this. The Twinkie started falling off its stick, but when I bit into it, this thing was surprisingly tasty. Much more so than a regular Twinkie. It did fall apart, so I had to spear the individual pieces, now resembling the remnants of a tempura ice cream sans the ice cream, and eat them that way.

It was sinful and decadent. And I will never eat this again.

I left Pridefest, having (to my surprise) run into a high school friend (little did either of us know). With the Baltimore Gay Men's Chorus singing in the background, I made the umpteen-mile trek back to my car, Hairspray movie paraphernalia and rainbow-colored crap in tow.

Other photos:

The Baltimore Gay Men's Chorus, steering clear of cloying showtunes and sounding quite good.

It's pretty rainbow-colored crap, but it's rainbow-colored crap nonetheless.

Sabbatical Flashback 3: Baltimore Beer Week: More from the Tasting Section

Today is the first day of Baltimore Beer Week 2010. I posted a few times about my escapades during BBW '09. All of them took place during beer tastings at my favorite spirit store, The Wine Source. But events are indeed happening all over the city. Please check out the BBW website for information.

One particular beer tasting I found memorable had two brews, Stoudt's and Southern Tier, the latter a fave of mine specifically for their chocolate and creme brulée stouts. Mmmm.

You can see my other postings from last year's BBW here, here and here.

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Baltimore Beer Week: More from the Tasting Section

(originally posted Sunday, October 18, 2009)

I didn't go to many tastings over the past few days. Again, I chose the Wine Source (again, you may have chosen your own), and again they had some interesting and delicious wines available for sampling the other day. I went Thursday when Stoudt's Brewing Company and the always-favorite Southern Tier came down to Bawlmer to let us sample their wares.

Stoudt's, out of Adamstown, PA, in Lancaster County (yes, Amish country), is the creation of Ed & Carol Stoudt, the latter being one of the first women in America to found a brewery. Stoudt's also has a restaurant attached to it, which may necessitate a trip of its own. The Stoudt's presenter was a mellow young dude, one of the few brewery employees who are not kith & kin to the Stoudt clan. He brought a bevy of seven beers. My favorite was their Belgian beer, the Triple Abbey Style. Dude said this was their least popular in terms of sales, though that didn't mean people did not like it. I was not alone: a few people that I talked to (so easy to talk to people at a beer tasting) liked the Belgian best. Though all good, a few of the most notable included their Scarlet Lady Ale, one of their most popular, and their "we invented this style of beer" Smooth Hoperator. Alas, Dude didn't bring their darker and heavier Fat Dog with them, which is among their most popular beers.

I cannot say enough good things about Southern Tier Brewing Company. Though I liked all the beers I tasted this week, Southern Tier is, perhaps, the first one I tasted where I really, truly got enthusiastic about everything I drank. They make that raved-over Crème Brûlée Imperial Milk Stout, one of my favorite specialty brews of all time. They are based in Lakewood, NY - "out in the middle of nowhere" as one person said to me. The presenter was a true Southern gentleman. Really! He's from Alabama, and occasionally needles his colleagues as to how truly not Southern they are. Unlike the dude from Stoudt's, who encouraged me to go in a certain order (albeit not the one laid out in front of us), the gentleman from Southern Tier encouraged us all to go in any order we darn well pleased. I more or less stuck with the order he laid out the beers in, and started with their specialty Cuvée series, one French oak aged, the other American oak aged. Again, there is something faintly scotch-like about these beers, and they pack a nice, gentle wallop. Of course, he also brought the Crème Brûlée stout, but I saved that for last. Before that was their Mokah Stout (y'all can tell I like stouts), a nice mixture of coffee and chocolate. I don't remember him bringing Southern Tier's Choklat Stout, but I would advise you to look for it in your local wine or beer store.

I didn't get back on Friday (saw Paranormal Activity - not so much scary to me as fun and freaky, but you will be freaked out the next time you go to bed) or Saturday. But I had tried most of the beers being tasted and had liked them anyway. Too bad I missed our own hometown's Clipper City based right out of Baltimore (technically Halethorpe). I'll use most any reason to sample their MarzHon.

Sabbatical Flashback 2: From Bulgogi Tacos to Avocado Salsa: A Day of Eating in LA

This sabbatical has been very refreshing, but one problem I'm finding with it is that I can't tell people about the great places I'm finding in the meantime. Okay, there's the Twitter, but how much depth can one go into in just 140 characters?

Take last night for example. I headed to Arlington to see comedian Chris "Nerdist" Hardwick, the host of G4TV's Web Soup and occasional guest on Chelsea Lately - ever engaging, never insulting, always self-deprecating, and very interactive with the audience both during and after the show (he suggested during the show that we all get pie afterwards, and he was convincing enough that I half-believed him). But before that show - which I waited almost 45 minutes to get into, and which our headliner profusely thanked us for waiting for - I stopped at Bangkok 54, an upscale-looking restaurant on one side and a Thai grocery store on the other. If ever in Arlington you should get their lime Thai iced tea ($2.50) and crispy basil squid ($13).

I actually have seen Chris once before, when I went to a taping of Web Soup this summer on a trip to LA. The food I had there wasn't sit down Thai, but of course I wrote about it anyway. For those who aren't familiar with the blog, I do these travelogues once in a while when I go out of town. It's just so hard to find the time, you know?

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From Bulgogi Tacos to Avocado Salsa: A Day of Eating in LA

(originally posted Wednesday, May 26, 2010)

In my first full day in California this time around, I hit LA, primarily to see a taping of Web Soup (the episode is on tonight; you might hear me guffawing in the studio audience). Oh that I lived closer so that I could go more often! And host Chris Hardwick is a hoot, as is his on-set producer. Before the taping I hung out at the La Brea Tar Pits, right across the street. You have to pay $7 to get in, but lots of it can be seen for free. You could even bring a picnic lunch and eat next to the Tar Pits. No worries about falling in - there's a fence, with fake mammoths in distress and everything. The gas bubbles in the tar pits themselves are a fascinating site to see.

Of course, I had to eat while I was in Los Angeles. In general the food was memorable, though some of it was more memorable than the rest:

Bite (West Hollywood) - I stopped in here, despite a recommendation for a few burger places, some of which also sold wonderful carne asada and burritos. I went into the sleek, skylight-illuminated Bite instead, since I didn't feel like walking all that way to the burger joint (also wasn't too in the mood for a burger). Bite's service is a wee bit on the slow side - even when they have just a handful of customers - but they are attentive when they do show up, even offering bread (I turned it down) and free, homemade tortilla chips (I didn't turn it down). They had a variety of small and large plates, and I opted for a few of the small plates.


The avocado salad ($5.50) had a lot less avocado than I had expected, but still had lots of chunky tomato, onion and corn that made it the best thing on the table. The tortilla chips, fresh and hot from the fryer, made for an excellent complement and I should have eaten that alone. Instead, I also ordered a turkey and cheese empanada ($3.50) which was good at first, but quickly became heavy and a little on the mystery meat side. The crust, at least, was flaky and tender. Maybe I should've ordered the beef empanada instead. The final small plate I ordered was a plate of fried calamari rings ($8), breaded not in the typical crispy and flaky breading but instead in a dark colored Italian herb coating. It was a different coating than I am used to but it was good for what it was. The chunky tomato sauce and ranch or blue cheese (?) dip that came with it went nicely with the calamari for dipping. The squid was tender though a little bland, mostly serving as a base for the breading. All the while I wished I had gotten the Greek salad, which the guy at the next table was simply raving about.

Bool BBQ Truck (various locations throughout LA; at the Miracle Mile / Comcast Studios on Wilshire Blvd yesterday - follow them on their Twitter feed for today's location) - For about a tenth of what I spent for lunch at Bite, I got a much more memorable taco in LA proper. The hook: it was from the popular Bool BBQ Truck, which makes a mixture of Korean and Korean-style Mexican food (there were also Chinese and Brazilian versions parked just a few feet away). Since I had a mere few dollars on me, I went for the one thing under $4, a $2.50 bulgogi soft taco in two small corn tortillas. This was just a fun and different way to eat both Korean and Mexican food, and I wish we had one of these in Baltimore sitting next to the Kooper's Chowhound Wagon and the Iced Gems cupcake truck. Sweet chunks of bulgogi (Korean BBQ) mixed with crunchy cabbage, not quite yet kimchi (though they have that too), onion bits and cilantro. all in two warm corn tortillas. It was a little bit of impressiveness to presage my foray into the tar pits and the G4TV studios.


The folks at G4 know about this place, yes?

BCD Tofu House (Koreatown and various locations throughout LA and the country) - After the taping I headed further through Koreatown to get to one of the local gay bars for a beer (side note: I still got it, by the way, wink wink). There was a bevy of establishments, and blocks upon blocks of buildings with signs written neither in English nor in Spanish but in Korean. Enough of them had some English that I could find my way towards the restaurants. A few looked inviting but had two or three persons seated - the employees, for the most part. But one place, in one of those IHOP-shaped buildings (only much bigger and homier) not only was not empty but was filled with Korean-American diners. If the Korean community is coming here for its Korean food, the safe assumption is that it's probably a mistake to pass it up. BCD Tofu House is not confined to Koreatown but is spread throughout the LA Basin, with additional locations in Seattle, Korea and Japan (a pre-recorded new report also suggested there was on in Manhattan but their website does not mention it). The customer base at BCD hustles and bustles almost as much as the waitstaff, enjoying its food all the while sipping little more than water. Seriously, nobody was drinking anything but water.


Like many good Korean establishments, BCD Tofu House is no-nonsense about getting you your food quickly and efficiently (Bite: take note). It gives you various choices in what to order: you can order lunch and dinner combos for between $13-$18 - it's all the same combos but just a few dollars less for lunch - or you can order a hot (to the touch) stone bowl of tofu with various ingredients, spicy or mild (and they don't kid around about the spicy part), plus a separate stone bowl of rice and various plates of panchan. My panchan included a few types of kimchi, plus a whole little fried fish that I made quick work of with gleaming stainless steel chopsticks. There was also an egg that I made little notice of, not realizing that it was raw and was meant to be cracked into the boiling bowl of tofu that was delivered to my table.


I ordered the #3, the Seafood Premium Tofu ($9), which included oysters, clams and shrimp with humongous bits of tofu in an extremely spicy broth. If I get back - and I may have to the next time I'm in town - I'll crack the egg in the tofu like I am supposed to.

Other photos -

Owwee.

This is as far as I got with using my camera at G4. I didn't even bother to whip it out but I should have asked Chris Hardwick for a photo. I think he would've been alright with it.


I don't think this ended well.

It's remarkable that with all the creatures that have perished in the Tar Pits, only one member of our own species suffered that same fate: a rather clumsy woman in her mid-to-late 20's from around 10,000 BC.

Lots of these little fellas fell into the Tar Pits: a wall of wolf skulls