Jolene Sugarbaker's Tomato Coffee Cake

It's tomato juice - in a crumb cake!

Erm, BOILED cookies???

Only Jolene Sugarbaker, er, Sugarboiler? Aren't these more like no-bake Frigidaire cookies? I got the impression that there would be lumps of cookie dough dropped into a pot of boiling water. Well, that wouldn't have worked as well as this.

Pink Lemonade Cookies - courtesy of Jolene Sugarbaker

Regular posting should resume in about a week (and a few days)! In the meantime, just to reassure y'all that I am indeed still alive (and burning a new ulcer in my stomach with the worry over grad school), here's something to chew on for the warming weather: pink lemonade cookies. By La Jolene:



I could picture this at HonFest.

Jolene Sugarbaker comes through for a cookie swap

It's time for another cookie swap at work, and I finally decided to tap into the wisdom that is Jolene!

The cookie of choice is her potato chip chocolate chip cookie. She used crushed Utz (look closely at that video; it's Utz) to make a crispy and crunchy cookie. My results were, well, a wee bit different. I got a cookie that was definitely not crispy, but kind of soft and a little less sweet than I thought I'd get. In fact, they were almost pastry-like. Part of all that has to do with the potato chips. But part of that, I think, also has to do with my substitution of Splenda sugar and brown sugar for the real stuff.

After I transcribed the recipe, I guesstimated that I would have to quadruple the recipe to make enough for all my coworkers (at least 20). Then I went ahead and bought all the ingredients. I knew I had some at home but to be on the cautious side, I bought them all, flour included. The total came to $70 (waaaah). That's not an expense I expected, especially after the NYC trip.

So here's the recipe as I transcribed it:

1 c sugar
1 c brown sugar
1 c oil
1 c butter
1 egg
1 T sour milk (or milk with a dash of vinegar)
1 t vanilla
1 t almond extract
1 t cream of tartar
1 t baking soda
½ t salt
2 c Utz
3.5 – 4 c flour
2 c chocolate chips

Crush chips, and cream sugars and fats together. Next, mix in other ingredients, except for flour and chocolate chips. Separately mix in flour, then chocolate chips. Put on a baking pan, and make nice little balls and plop ‘em on the tray. Bake at 350 degrees F for 10 minutes or until nice and golden brown.

I was in a hurry, alright?

I made a few changes, some deliberate, some not. First there was the whole Splenda thing. Also, in my first of two batches I replaced half of the chocolate chips with butterscotch chips, just to be different. That was totally accidental.

The first batch made about 50 cookies, but I needed more than that (each coworker gets four cookies, so that's 80 right there). Lucky for me I had enough to make four batches! Unlucky for me, though, that I spent so much money and only needed one more batch. Math was never my strongest subject. Actually scratch that - I was far worse in physics.

I churned out lots of cookies. Since I was using the folks' kitchen (mine is, well, puny) they were halfway interested in trying - eager because they were free cookies, not so eager because they had potato chips in them. They liked them. I was surprised, particularly because of the pastry-like brittleness of the cookie. Good cookie, but unusual. Very unusual because it's not that sweet. Again, may be due to the Splenda, but I'm not sure.

Miss Jolene is back

Oh dear Lord, I've forgotten how funny Jolene Sugarbaker is! She's turning her Trailer Park Test Kitchen into a part-cooking show, part-blog (vlog?). And Miss Jolene is trying to cook a little bit healthier. Check out her GreenTeaGirlie Green Tea Cookie recipe. Maybe I'll make these for my next cookie swap at work.

Trailer Park Cooking Show : Oatmeal Raisin Asparagus Cookies

More pride in the double-wide with Jolene! Today, asparagus... in a cookie!? Okay, I'm game...

More from Jolene's Trailer Park

I've found out more about Miss Jolene Sugarbaker, whose hilarious Pinto Bean Chocolate Fudge video I have posted before. She has lots of cooking videos on YouTube, including one recipe for Frozen Butterfinger Pie. It also appears she's kind of a local, hailing from Alexandria, VA.

But her modus operandi is pure, unadulterated white-trash cookin' - yum! Just take a look at her video for Cherry Chocolate Baked Donut Pudding with Malibu Margarine Sauce! Uh, yum? Well it probably tastes better than it sounds.

I could easily see Miss Sugarbaker manning her own booth at Honfest next year. I'd buy her pinto bean fudge! Ah, if wishes were horses...

Or drag queens...

Trailer Park Cooking Special With Jolene : Pinto Bean Fudge

OMG! They need to put drag queens on the Food Network, y'all! And who hasn't seen this woman roamin' around Honfest? Well, speaking in Bawlmerese, anyway? Now my next question is, dare I try this concoction? Hmmm, I feel a project coming on!