Assault with a Deadly Pepperoni

This weirdness from the Fresno Bee in Fresno, California: a man broke into the house of two men, and attacked them - with food. Antonio Vásquez rubbed spices into one man's face, and smacked the other man with an 8 ft. sausage. Vásquez also apparently stole $900. Police found him in a field in just his underwear, but they only held him for a few days since they had no hard evidence to charge him with. Personally, I would think the spices on his fingers would be evidence enough!

On an unrelated note, I've met people who are into that sort of thing.