Next Food Network Star 5 Live-Blogging: Dinner at Ina's

Last week, both Eddie and Katie just narrowly missed gettin' their tuschies kicked out. Tonight, we will apparently see Teddy go through some sort of nervous breakdown. Who wins and who packs their knives (again, wrong damn show!) tonight? Will special cheflebrity Ina Garten bring her BGFF* TR along for the ride? Only one way to find out...

Due to all the beer at yesterday's Baltimore LGBT Pride Block Party, I really don't feel like even seeing another fermented beverage right about now. So tonight the drinking game is just with good old boring Pepsi One. Anyone else drinking at home is encouraged to use the alcoholic beverage of his or her choice.

* BGFF: Best gay friend forever

9:00 Ina brings her friends tonight! How many gay men (besides those competing in this competition) will be on the screen tonight?

9:02 I distinctly remember him saying he would not throw anyone under the bus. I'm still befuddled.

Jeff topless - DRINK!

9:03 Tyler Florence (guest chef #1 - DRINK!) meets the cheftestants at a fancy restaurant. The challenge: do a dinner party on a budget, giving 30-second promos on how to stretch your food dollar. Sandra Lee much?

9:04 Ted: You? Dramatic? NOOOOOOOOOOO! (DRINK!)

I guess Tyler hasn't been watching.

Crepes are yummy. I see Jeff in it for the long haul...

9:05 Michael: a f*ckin' grand for a dinner party!?!? I usually just put out a brie and roast a chicken for my friends when I have 'em over. 30 bucks tops. Just ask them.

9:07 First time in Food Network history: someone utters the word "cross-utilize" (Michael)

I just love the face Tyler is making when these guys speak. What the hell? DRINK!

9:08 I'd be nervous in front of Tyler Florence, too, Eddie - he's so dreamy....... 8-) (end of silliness)

Wow, not as dietitian-y as normal.

9:09 Y'all, this is why you need to have a club savings card.

Michael, Jamika and Ted messed up in this challenge. Oooooooo... Double ooooo for Jamika's urging people to reuse a raw meat marinade (DRINK!)

Prediction: Teddy is not going to tune it down. Don't believe me? Let's put a wager on it...

9:10 Is Ina the twist? Maybe they should've, like, not told us she'd be on tonight in that case. Save it as a surprise.

9:14 OoooOOOOooo, the Hamptons! The people there usually do $60 hors d'oeurves, not $60 dinner parties.

9:15 And of course, the guest cheeflebrity is Ina (DRINK).

What's the twist now? Teams of two. Appetizer, entrée and dessert.

9:16 I wonder how much of this is real, actual tension? It looks as if nobody wants to work with:

1. Teddy, because they don't trust him after what went down between Brett and Melissa, and
2. Melissa, because she really doesn't seem to do very well without assistance (the basis of the thing between Brett and Melissa.

9:17 New drinking game rule: anytime someone says some variation of "I don't know if I can trust him/her", DRINK TWICE.

9:19 Another "cautious" comment and another Teddy-like goofiness. DRINK TWICE for each. Oooh, drink four times?

9:25 Okay, I thought Melissa was talking about Teddy for some reason.

9:26 TeddyFAIL! Guess which flighty executive chef forgot to make his dessert? DRINK!

Heavy hitters? Her husband and all her Hampton buds, okay, but...

9:27 Groan, another story about her kids! DRINK! (Even though it kind of fits here)

Ina loves Melissa, but Kate Tyler finds her annoying. Ina doesn't like her chicken though. Did Eddie do the salad? Again, it failed.

No TR yet.

9:28 Well Debbie, just smack that manbitch, alright?

OMG - Teddy ISN'T getting all, well, Teddy-like? Debbie is happy. Plus they worked well together.

Food-wise? Hey, the meatloaf WORKS! Way to go, Deb and Ted. Teddy's dessert wasn't very good.

9:30 Coming up, the groups that we haven't really heard from much yet.

9:33 Back in Happytime Kitchen... Temexican? Mexitalian? Don't drink - just roll eyes.

9:34 Yum. Whole wheat pasta. Delicious.

Jamika: I do that all the time, adding stuff to store-bought things. And like you, I also haven't even made my own Kwanzaa Cake recipe that has spread all over YouTube or dressed up like Scarlett O'Hara. Yet.

9:36 So Mike, are you trying to tell me that you are ooawwff?

9:37 Global a-go-go... For any of my heterosexual readers: no, not all gay men talk like this. Just Michael.

Mike and Jeff: it looks elegant. They like the food, too. Presentation: Mike is nervous, Jeff self-confident.

9:38 And now Jamika and the dietitian present asian salmon and seaweed!

9:39 Nothing that Katie has said so far sounds unappetizing. The salmon also works well. But salmon and pasta do not go together well.

No collaboration?

Oh boy, Katie's being "dietitian-y" again. I'm adding that to the drinking game: anytime Katie acts "dietitian-y" - DRINK!

9:44 Yep, tonight's commercials are just boring.

Chicken is sleepy? Eddie's the one who looks sleepy.

9:45 I admit that I would love to be invited to Ina's for a dinner party. I've got the gay thing, so that prerequisite is out of the way.

9:46 And now the judgment:

Jamika and Katie: No collaboration, but Jamika's dish was delish. Katie? "Overall I liked the dish..." and "slightly unmemorable" in the same sentence is not what you want to hear.

Jeffrey and Michael: Their dishes were Ina-worthy. DAMN! Way to go, boys!

Hey, I missed Jeff talking about his daughter. Why did I miss this? DRINK!

Michael is "lost" and off his game. Oopsie.

Eddie & Melissa: Not working together. Melissa says Eddie was all tense, and that was annoying to El Flay.

@Melissa: defensive much?

Eddie's onions were both overwhelming AND done before.

OOOOOO, he did a Paula Deen recipe (DRINK for her unexpected mention). Dumb move, dude: DRINK!

And finally Deb and Ted: Teddy admits that his dessert sucked ass.

And now Ted indeed puts foot into mouth: "I felt (the meatloaf that both of us collaborated on) was mine." Bobby is annoyed, and guess how Debbie feels?

Ooooh, now I'm not happy with Teddy right now either...

9:50 Tears are commencing after the break

9:51 Okay, so who's set up to win tonight, and who's going home? The latter is easier: Teddy probably should go home because of that dessert and that taking ownership of the dish that he and Debbie so clearly worked on together. But since the producers crave that sort of drama, there is no way in hell Teddy is going home tonight. So what about the others? Katie and Eddie continue to make the same old crap. It's gotta be one of them. I could go either way on this.

As for the winner? Tough call. For the best overall meal I'd have to say Jeffrey and Michael. There were problems with at least one dish from each of the other teams, despite Michael's presentation deflation.

9:54 The winners tonight are, duh, Jeffrey and Michael. And I just realized this was not in any way a tough call.

9:55 Debbie, Jamika, Katie and Melissa are also safe.

9:56 Why did Ted self-destruct? He's embarrassed about that dessert. Ed, don't be cavalier about being in the bottom three times in a row.

I think they're gonna roast Teddy alive in the green room.

9:57 Um, should we leave Ted and Ed alone in the room?

Teddy cries - GLUG THAT BEER!

Since they're all saying that Teddy will go, it's pretty obvious, isn't it? Eddie is leaving.

9:58 And the loser of the week is...

Eddie... Yup, thought so.

I wouldn't really wanna be Teddy right about now.

9:59 Wait: Eddie can cook?

10:00 Debbie is injured next week? What is Guy doing on his Big Bite anyway?

POST-GAME ANALYSIS:

Third time's a charm... if "charm" means "We're not taking this anymore, Eddie." Here's hoping he finds some common ground in how men and women eat!

ALSO: So since he got booted by doing a Paula Deen recipe, does this mean they didn't like her recipe, or his take on her recipe?