Post #200: Zi Pani (or What to eat after a stress test)

Several things going on today. First, it was (alas) my birthday. I'm now 34 years outta the womb, and I know that anyone older than I am will think I'm whining that I'm so "old." Not that old, I know, but I've never before wished I was actually younger than I am.

Second thing that happened today: I missed half a day of work because I went through my first stress thallium test. That's where they take pictures of your heart for, oh, half an hour, place electrodes all over your bare chest, make you run on the treadmill for a while, then make you grab some lunch, come back and go through thirty more minutes of pictures.

The stress test wasn't so bad, just lengthy. And I do admit the guy who prepped me tried to get me out of there as fast as possible. He even had to shave parts of my chest to get the electrodes to stick (now I just look silly). But the good news, in fact, is that my heart is about as healthy as a 34-year old man could wish for (my bowels, on the other hand - well, that's another story). The doctor even told me I went longer than most men my age ever go, about 12 minutes, ending on a 14 ft incline at about 4 miles per hour. That doesn't seem like much, but it was actually quite exhausting. And the funniest part of the whole thing: I've never felt so clothed with my shirt off before! I guess all the electrodes made it feel like I was fully dressed.

So after the workout, but before the second set of pictures, they sent me out for an hour to get some grub. I chose the nearby Zi Pani in the Maiden Choice Shopping Center for my birthday breakfast. I had this place in mind for a while, and thought a bagel would be nice to celebrate my birthday.

The staff sure is friendly enough. But the food was, frankly, boring. I ordered an everything bagel with salmon. The woman behind the counter then recommended their salmon sandwich, adding onion, tomato and capers along with the cream cheese of my choice. I went for low fat garlic - that's one reason why it was so bland - and held the tomato. After that and a Sprite Zero (ten times better than that piss drink they call Coke Zero), totaling about $7.50ish, I sat down for my brunch.

The bagel was the most tired, bland everything bagel I had ever eaten. Usually there's lots of stuff on there. Not so this bagel. And the saddest thing? Even with all that onion and salmon, the capers were the most exciting thing on the sandwich. I am not a fan of bagel sandwiches, to be honest. The filling too easily oozes out, and that was totally the case with the salmon and onion. But that's not so much Zi Pani's doing as it is physics, and any bagel sandwich you'll get anywhere will have this same problem.

In retrospect, I should have opted for Sam's Bagels, whose bagels never fail to please and whose bagels and lox are usually presented open-faced, like the other day's Reuben. But in the end, I opted for the closest place. After all, what is a starving man supposed to do on his birthday after he's just ripped several electrodes and more than a few hairs off his chest?

I think I'll go have some cake now :)