Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Top Chef 5 Live-Blogging: Le Bernardin

The TV reception is finally back up, and instead of doing the haiku-format of the live-blog I think I'll just stick with the tried and true format I usually follow. But Japan is not far away, as tonight's drinking game beverage of choice is Mura Mura's "Canyon" line of Junmai Ginjo Saké (out of Forest Grove, Oregon). Not exactly a good or bad fit, as tonight's ep of TC5 is set at New York's fancy seafood restaurant, Le Bernardin. Maybe a better fit, since it apparently goes well with seafood.

10:00 Oh that's right, I forgot that surfer boy was eliminated last week. So no more gratuitous bare-chestedness then?

10:01 Whole Food plug - DRINK! T-Mobile plug - extra plug!

10:02 Wait - Fabio's Italian!?!? DRINK!

Oh, there are only six of these yahoos around still? I had lost count.

10:03 Eric Ripert, god of French chefs and seafood, presides over a fish-filleting quickfire tournament. Damn, I hate filleting those things. I just don't do it.

10:05 Fish haiku:

Ripert's scrunchy face
Betrays his unimpressed-ness
With Carla's fillet.

Still he seems happy
With most every other fish.
Fab's Italian - DRINK!

10:07 And now they're on to char. I tried it at Whole Foods not long ago. It really does look and taste like salmon!

Jesus, Leah, what the hell did you do to that char? It looks like the victim of a Fishy Kruger movie.

Oh yay. It's Hosea vs Fabio again. AND the fish of choice: eel. Live eel. Damn, fabio's an ass.

10:09 PETA will not be happy with this episode. They don't like it when you kill "sea kittens" on TV.

10:12 The next sign of the Apocalypse: Season 2 of Make Me a Supermodel.

10:15 Stefan is being Stefan. DRINK, just DRINK.

10:18 Yup, Jamie's dressed to the nines. Or moreover dressed like she's nine.

The dirty bastards get a private dinner with Chef Ripert, complete with wait staff announcing what the food is in opaque French accents. And of course the food's all perfect.

10:21 Strange. Carla's eyes weren't bugging out.

10:22 DAMN, BITCH! They were all too busy enjoying their food to pay attention to how it was made. And that's bad because the elim challenge is to recreate one of the six dishes they just ate.

10:23 Jamie's pretty spunky.

Damn, exactly how many bald people are in this show? Not criticizing them at all (I'm just glad I haven't joined their ranks), but at my age, something as simple as "the bald guy quotient" is readily evident to me. Just sayin'.

10:25 Alec Baldwin's really weird. Gotta agree with him on the Hulu thing, though. Except for Family Guy. I just cannot stand that show.

10:28 At least they don't have to guess what the ingredients are.

Wow - the second sea creature to die on TC5 tonight. No need to drink, I just feel like it.

And where do I find black garlic?

10:30 Leah thinks the miso is too strong. So did she just add butter to make it less strong? And look at Ripert testing everyone's food. Not happy with Stefan's or Leah's it seems.

Ripert to Leah: Eet ees oileey? Well no duh, what with that hugh chunk o' butter Leah just dropped in there.

Ripert's not happy with anyone's food, but he knows it's still in the early stages.

10:33 The dishes:

Fabio's attempt: very goodm close, not a bad impersonation. Ripert is impressed!

Leah's try: Leah's miso isn't as thick and her fish is overcooked. The only real flavor is ginger. Ooooooh, Leah, not good, girlfrien'.

Stefan's stab at it: his sauce is heavier, lumpier, but the lobster is very good. And while the sauce looks icky, it tastes very similar.

Carla's undertaking (aided by her fellow chefs): Those baby potato chips ain't that crispy. But Carla got a difficult dish and both Tom and Ripert think she got it.

Hosea's hendeavor: Oh my. The sauce makes it look close, and the sauce tastes similar. But the fish is overcooked, and unrested. Restless? AND this guy has a seafood restaurant! The least precise of all the dishes. Hosea better hope that Jamie screws up big time:

Jamie's journey: She notices that the celery is too salty, but what can she do? The fish is nicely cooked, however. Not an easy dish.

The evaluation: The only two fishes that they really seemed to dislike? Our lovebirds' dishes. But who is more off the mark, Leah or Hosea?

10:44 And so Stefan, Fabio and - WOW - Carla Buggy-Eyes are in the top three. But again, Stefan is accused of choosing his lobster dish because he thought it'd be easy.

AND THERE ARE THOSE EYES!

I have no idea who wins...

It's probably Stefan.

10:46 Yup, the Euro Douche won again. Just see how enthusiastic everyone is.

10:47 Honestly, I don't see Jamie going home, since the fish was the bright spot of her dish - which was a seafood dish.

The criticisms:

Hosea: The sauce was good, but the monkfish was overcooked and unrested.

Leah: "I added butter and lemon." The mahi mahi was also overcooked. Does she really not want to give up?

Jamie: She knew the celery was over-salted, probably by over-reducing. Unappetizing to look at or eat. But she admits it was not her favorite dish either. Even Tom notes: "You understood it!"

They seemed to hate Jamie's more at Judge's Table.

So who goes? Hosea, who makes a mistake even though he knew what he had to do to prevent it? Leah, who added butter to her miso and isn't paying attention? Or Jamie, who oversalted her dish but seems to understand what she did and why?

I think Leah's gone tonight. Out of all three, she seems to give the impression that she really has no clue what she's doing there anymore. At least Jamie does. I don't know about Hosea.

10:58 WHAT!?!? They're letting go the one person who seemed to be able to figure out where she went wrong and what she needs to do about it? The chefs are dumb.

Oh, final Team Rainbow reference: TRIPLE DRINK!!!

POST-GAME ASSESSMENT -

My sister and I currently on the phone trying to figure out why the hell Leah is still there? And yeah, Jamie was spunky so I am quite disappointed, and scratching my head about this decision. But if I wind up in SF sometime soon, I'll have to pop in to her restaurant. So the sun sets on Team Rainbow. Farethewell, Team Rainbow, faretheewell.

4 comments:

Nanc Twop said...

I am quite disappointed, and scratching my head about this decision too.

How could Jamie lose because an accessory to her dish was salty
(and caused her sauce to flop), and Leah skate by even tho she missed the mark on the fish and had no clue why?

That being said, I was sure it was going to be Hosea just because Bravo showed him saying (about a thousand times) what a fish guy he is - all while botching his fish!

theminx said...

I'm sad that Jamie had to go this week, especially since I was sure that skank Leah was on the chopping block.

dartmouth05 said...

Well, take a look at Tom's blog. Leah and Hosea's dish were in the bottom, but they weren't bad. There were 5 good dishes before the judges, and 1 bad one. The person who made the bad dish got sent home...

strawberriesinparis said...

I was sooo pissed! I was sure she was going to win the whole thing... grrrr