Friday, September 07, 2007

Why do the O's hate me?

I gave up on the Oryuls a few seasons ago (not so this fella). Every frackin' season they just go from bad to worse! I honestly thought last season was truly the worst they could do. I don't think that anymore. Sadly, lamentably, dem O's are great at one and only one thing: sucking.

Now my yardstick for measuring a good season is how poorly the Yankees are doing. Like any good Bawlamoron, the worse the Yanks do, the happier I am. It's inversely proportional:

x = 1/y, where x = my happiness, and y = the Yankees' success

I really hate the Yankees.* Even more than I hate Peter Angelos, but that's de rigeur

for a Baltimorean. That's why I love to see them fail! (The Yankees, not the Orioles.)

But perhaps I should be more positive. I can keep my fingers crossed for the Ravens and the Blast. Our hope lies in Baltimore football in all its incarnations.

Anyway, at least the folks who clean up those $5 hot dog leavings have a sort of sweet new deal where they actually get paid a living wage. Not that it's very much. See, I worked the food angle in somewhere. Even if it's for an overpriced, $5 Esskay hot dog that doesn't even taste very good (at least not for the price).

* Apologies to Roopa, though I don't know if she prefers the Yanks, the Mets or neither. From what I hear, one may not like both.


Fairfax said...

at this exact second, we're beating boston. of course, it could all come crashing down and we could snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.

John said...

I just checked the final score. I'm shocked - we actually didn't blow our lead! Nice.

r k said...

Dude, I was born in Flushing, NY - home of the NY Mets. In addition to the that, I was raised the right way - as a Mets fan.

And, I, too, HATE the Yankees. HATE. (Though god help me, as my boyfriend is a Yankees fan, albeit a non-obnoxious one.)

So keep on hatin' on the Yanks - I'll be right there chiming in :)

Let's go Mets!

John said...

RK: You mean there are actually non-obnoxious Yankees fans? I truly had no idea! :)

Dan said...

A non-obnoxious Yankees fan? This sounds a bit like the elusive Sasquatch. Some say they've encountered it, but really, where is the proof? Then again, I'm a Phillies fan and I'm sure there aren't many nice things said about us!

John said...

Dan: The Phillies aren't our natural enemies, so I at least have no problem with 'em! I think they have a non-obnoxious Yankees fan on display at that new Ripley's Believe-It-Or-Not down in OC.