2010 Irish Festival... in Limerick

I went to the 2010 Maryland Irish Festival this past Sunday (again, thanks Dara). I had hemmed and hawed because the last time I went, it was so CROWDED and commercialized, not anything like the intimate affair the city held for a few years in Canton (I really miss that one). This one was as crowded, and almost as commercialized, but since it was spread out throughout the entire Cow Palace, the crowd was much, much more manageable, and the experience much more enjoyable.

I wanted to give this festival my typical food haiku treatment, but for obvious reasons an Irish lyrical form seemed more appropriate.

From the time I first entered Cow Palace,

I definitely felt much more Irish:
Celtic knickknacks in bags -
Did I mention the flags?
And the fat kilted guys: too hard to miss.

I don't mean to sound quite overbearing,
But some outfits I found somewhat erring.
Amidst soccer jerseys,
Sweaters and Irish tees...
Lady, what in the fuck are you're wearing!?


There's no shortage of good clothing to buy,
For the tackily-dressed, please give a try.
A Gaelic footballer's shirt,
No, not yet covered in dirt,
Or a kilt (yes, it's Irish)? WOOF! Oh my...

There was nary a shortage of song.
Just for that, I could stay all day long.
All quite talented folk,
Wasn't their fault - no joke -
But the LOUD speaker feedback was wrong.

For five dollars, colcannon made me full.
For five more, a Smithwick's Irish red ale.
With no shortage of plates:
Corned beef and cabbage? Great!
And that most Irish of snacks, the pretzel?!?

My ancestors, from Italy & Ireland,
Came too far south for me to face this trend.
One thinks you'd hear no more
Here, of that "Jersey Shore",
So for the love of God, make this dumb show end.

As I left, there were young lads and lasses
Showing skills learned in Irish dance classes.
I'm not much for stepdancing,
But I found it entrancing
'Cuz the dancers kicked mean Ceolas asses.