Top Chef 5 Live-Blogging: Just Not In The Mood Tonight

I've had a looooooong, busy, exhausting day today, people. My mind is just not into Top Chef 5 tonight. That coupled with the fact that I might just fall asleep somewhere during the action tells me that I will be either useless or pretty damn entertaining tonight if I do live-blog. That and these people are really starting to irritate me. Thank God the finale is (spread over the) next (few) week(s).

So please play the TC5 drinking game at home, and swig one for me every time Leah and Hosea get jiggy wit it or every time Stefan acts, well, Stefan-like. I may post the occasional haiku (or limerick, in our lovebirds' case) if the spirit moves me, but I promise nothing.

One thing I will say. We all know this is coming sometime tonight, probably sometime between 10:20 and 10:35 if my hunch is correct: Fabio fillets his hand. The ads have been all over the place after all, and if you don't know this will happen, then you just don't give a shit about this silly show anyway.

Why am I watching again?

10:02 Too bad this catchphrase never caught on, carla: Yoo CAN dooooooooooooooit. Yoo CAN dooooooooooooooit.

Molecular gastronomy! Please, God, no foam!

10:10 I can't wait to see Minx's "My eyes are going to pop out of my head!" photo tomorrow. And it was fun to hear Fabio say the words "Lidia Bastianich," no?

Well this is a morbid challenge. Make the professed "last dish" for five icons of the food world. Hmmm, I wonder what my "last dish" would be? I have to think about that one. Hot dogs? Saag gosht? Sushi and sashimi served on the nekkid body of a buffed Men's Health model? Hot dogs?

10:08 Okay, Stefan, look at a real class-act: TC1 winner Harold! Long time no see, dude!

10:25 I was right - Fabio needs a medic around 10:25.

10:31 These last suppers look and sound delicious. Oh, and DRINK! DRINK! DRINKDRINKDRINKDRINKDRINK!!!!!

10:32 WTF? I just lost my signal!

10:35 Reception is back on. It sounds like they are really bagging on Stefan's spinach dish. Pretty strong rain just started, too. Meh, if it goes out again I'll just catch this over the weekend.

10:39 Hey - I don't own a cookbook by Jacques Pépin! But I got a Julia Child classic at the Book Thing.

10:42 Wow. That would-be-supermodel Jonathan sure sounds shallow. But hey, he's on a show called Make Me a Supermodel for Chrissakes. Oh where are MMaSM1's winner and runner-up? Seriously, where the hell are they?

10:45 Goodness, one minute they're all "You didn't embarrass us," the next it's "We're pissed!"

Oooohoohoo, Stefan is very surprised that everyone thought his salmon was overcooked, and the dish was overall crappy. But the judges have bad stuff to say about everyone. Still, is this the night that Stefan's arrogance comes back to bite him?

10:48 Yup, Carla's squab was overcooked, too. She's going home. I say that right now because they are not going to send Stefan home. They're just not.

10:51 I stand corrected. All these deliberations make me confused. I truly cannot say I have any idea or clue who is going home tonight.

10:54 Oooh, Fabio won. That, and he's Italian! Did you know that?

10:56 And the love connection is severed, as Leah packs her knives and goes. Stefan came thisclose. Now we can be sure, once again, that he will win the whole shebang. And it's fughedabboutit, New York, and tu le ton temps, New Orleans!

POST-GAME ANALYSIS -

I wrote more than I thought I would tonight. But tiredness kicks back in. Buh-bye, Leah. Cross your fingers you have better luck with your boyfriend taking you back than Hosea probably will with his girlfriend.